


Why use tinder if you love someone you know?

by needymooncakes



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: #abitofseBOOTY, Kyungsoo becomes an ass, M/M, Nuh uh, boi writing angst is hard, everyone loves paragraphs, i am a poet and i didnt even know it, i cant write smut, i praise all those amazing smut writters, jongin becomes clingy, like paragraphs, lol sulay is the best, past about suris, random talk about kris, really unintentional past about hunhan, so this aint agst, spelling bee is not me, stupid as writing, stupid talk about luhan, talking about tao luhan and kris will trigger memories, that is not me, this is gonna be texting with, unintentional sekai
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-19
Updated: 2017-09-30
Packaged: 2018-12-04 05:02:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 22,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11548017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/needymooncakes/pseuds/needymooncakes
Summary: okay, basically since Kris is gone Suhoe looks for a new dad to look after his new 10 children, then luhan gets bored of suhoes shit fest and leaves exo to their fate. Tao then decides to leave as well. yayayyay. not. if you cry in unintentional angst i will be shocked to my death.





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> yooyoyooyo. as you have realised my previous fics have NOT been detailed and a lovely friend told me that everyone loves a bit of detail. (that hurt me). suho might turn out as a prick or dickhead but just go wiv it. sehun is a loner cause he is the only one with no boyfriend. he was dumped by Tao, Baekhyun (well Baekhyun cheats on Chanyeol all the time with EVERYONE, but i dont think Park cares) and Luhan. 
> 
> i havn't written in a while cause i am gathering experience and tips from other amazing and extraordinary fanfics and they have really triggered my emotions. lolol. 
> 
> shout out to OJ (ma friend) for competing with me to get more kudos and hits. she obviously won. :(. oh yes
> 
> very annoying emojis on the way too :)))))) ( ^ "3")^

It is a calming day of 2014 when the sudden outburst of mother Suho echoes through the universe. 

"WTF DID YOU JUST SAY?!" cried out Suho, who was not aware that Sebooty was outside the door. "HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME FOR THE MOST ANNOYING 10 PEOPLE IN THE WHOLE OF ASIA?! I MEAN, YOU HAVE RAISED MY INNOCENT BAEKHYUN INTO A HOE AND HE LOOKS AT YOUR BUTT EVERY TIME YOU MOVE!!!!!!! MY CHILD IS A HOE! AND THEN YOU JUST.........LEAVE?!!!!" ahhh, Suho is very angry, the whole of the building shakes, even Satan wonders what on earth was going on.

"I am sooryy baby but I just don't want to be part of this fam anymore. i am a bit sad that only 3 out of our 10 children are Chinese and none are Canadian. I AM CHINESE CANADIAN. makes me wonder, when should we tell Sehun he is adopted?" ranted Kris. This type of situation really wasn't his style. ( $<>$)

Just then a thump came from outside the door, and then a wail, "I'm....I'm adopted?! No way, no fucking way am i adopted! ai ya!" cried Sebooty. "Imma tell Jongin this shit."

"SEE WHAT YOU DONE?! SEHUN IS NOW SAD AND YOUR LEAVING?! IS THIS MY FAULT?!" wailed Suho. As rich Suho might be he can't buy a dad like Kris, he couldn't just buy a new Kris, another caring father for his impeccable 10 children. He wanted to be loved, and no one had loved him as much as Kris had. Kris, Ker-ree-se as all the babies called him. Daddy Ker-ree-se. He didn't want to live in this goddamn shitty world without him. Kris was a leader. EXO-M leader, he was important. 

"BABY FOR THE LAST TIME! This isn't your fault. It isn't your fault that SM are bags of...bad stuff. Look, there are so many more people out there that can replace me, i ain't that special. Baby, look at me. If in doubt I can just send you a new husband." It seemed that Kris's attempts to make Suho laugh and smile weren't working, they always worked. Even in the most depressing time, when Xiumin dumped Luhan for a dinosaur and Luhan went into deep depression, Kris always cheered him up. Even Satan respected him. 

"NO...no one is like you! I can't go on like this anymore! You can't just leave me! Kris. I love you and if you leave I...I...I will stop loving you!" Suho was crying now. 

Kris pulled SUho into a tight, warm hug and in response, Suho clung onto Kris's back, never wanting to depart from the reassuring warm musky sent of a cold city man...

*EXO-KKK*

sebooty: Guys...

sexydancer: yh?

sebooty: OH JONGIN! HELP!

sebooty: it turns out we are not twins, we were not born on the same day.

sexydancer: what are you saying?

satan: he is a dump and cares about Vivi more than he cares about you

sebooty: lies. 

sebooty: actually, maybe...but thats not the point

sebooty: you guys are not my real brothers.

real_pcy: stop spamming, and just tell us you little

real_pcy: litttle, little

satan: is Chanyeol actually trying to be PG?!

byunbyun: shut up guys. stop being satan for one minute Kyungsoo and let Seboootaaaay speak.

real_pyc: i am your only booty.

sebooty: well, wait, let me do someting

-sebooty changed names to viviestlife

vivestlife: ahhh, much better.

satan: when did you learn french

vivestlife: when did you know how to be a pain in the arse?

Baekhyun was getting very fed up with all the shizzly happening so he does something very very gay, if you don't like gay or sexual stuff, don't read on for the next few lines of text...

byunbyun: IF YOU DON'T SPIT IT OUT THEN I WILL SHOVE MA DICK IN UR BUTT.

real_pcy: WTF ONLY MY ASS GETS YOU ROD!

byunbyun: yh, omly cause urs is a weeneee.

real_pyc: SHUT UP U HOE

byunbyun: SEHUN SHOVE IT OUT OR I WILL SHOVE SATAN UP UR BUTT. 

byunbyun: i have big hand you know, 

real_pcy: yeah, your hands are life, they give me life

viviestlife: I'm fine thanks. fine ill tell you.

viviestlife: i'm adopted...

satan: oh, thats disappointing, i thought it was going to be something important.

sexydancer: SHUT UP HYUNG, this is very emotional.

viviestlife: i thought...i thought i was part of this family, as the maknae and all. ( - .-)

sexydancer: you are part of this family

satan: whether we like it or not

sexydancer: thats it hyung, ur gonna die.

byunbyun: dont go killing satan, i tried, many times and they have always backfired.

sexydancer: okay.

-mothersuho comes online-

viviestlife: hi...mum

mothersuho: oh baby i am sorry you had to hear that, you are still my baby boy and you will always be part of this family. don't be upset by all this drama okay?

mothersuho: now kids i have...news. I have cried many times and i think it is time you should cry too.

satan: what.

mothersuho: let us go on the big chat. 

*EXODUS*

baozi: llalalalallalalallalallalalalala, im a pretty teapot short and stout

777: yh you are hyung. hahhaa

baozi: hiya Lulu. how u doin?

777: fine

viviestlife: guys, im adopted

777: sehun? is that you? ahhh, Vivi, of course its you.

777: TF UR ADOPTED?!!! SO WE ARE NOT INCESST WHILE EVERYONE ELSE IS. HAHHAHAHAHA

daddykris: tbh you are all adopted

777: oh

satan: i might change my name

satan: satan is too long.

chendino: you will still be satan in our contacts

-satan changed its number to 666-

666: call me baby. 666

sexydancer: -_-

sexydancer: really?!

daddykris: shut up children. ur father is leaving

real_pcy: for vacation?

mothersuho: no. forever, he isn't part of exo now, he is leaving us.

777: shit. man thats sad. we will miss you daddy. imma coming to ur room now

byunbyun: we all are

guccipanda: what??????????????????????????????????????????? i just woke up

#slay: so did i. i mean me. i ean im

mothersuho: come children. we must talk.

guccipanda: oh okay. ahhh. 

666: sehun, thats what i call news, not that you are adopted

viviestlife: we all are nuttcase. 

#slay: what we doin?

chendino: we are goin to...to...say goodbye to dad. 

#slay: why

guccipanda: cause hes leavin. wait, hes leavin

guccipanda: WHAT NO. NOOOOO DADDDY IMM MAKE U STAY

777: stop being a baby, thats hunhun's job

vivestlife: hey! stop being a inconsiderate bf. ik that i am just a replacement for Minseok.

baozi: hey! don't be like that!

777: that isnt true baby!!!!!! why would you think that?

vivestlife: ik that u still like Min

viviestlife: i can see it, you don't really love me

777: stop being a derp

viviestlife: even in bed

777: okay, now thats just mean

777: we need to talk

mothersuho: STOP ARGUING AND HURRY UP, I AM CRYING FOR THE 10TH FUCKING TIME THIS DAY

baozi: sorry mum

real_pcy: fine fine fiiine, calm ur balls ( * {} ± {} * )

byunbyun: hehehe, u funny Yeollie

real_pcy: see u later ;)

byunbyun: okay <3

666: go to hell


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> okay, that chapter was the past, now i am gonna do the actual story.
> 
> tao luhan and kris have gone and suho is still in a right state. his sons need a father, a rich douche mother seems to not be enough for them

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey!!! lol 2 chapters in one. this fic may have a plot twist i am not sure cause this isn't just about love and new fiances...no no no, u will have to wait and see my little pumpkins. lol. also some SEvi. (sehun and vivi) ahh, owner love

Many times a day does Sehun think he is a loner. He only feels like he ever clicked with Luhan. Kai was an exception, Sehun works himslef up, trains harder than anyone and is the fittest. Well, thats what he tells himself. Everyone knows that Kai works the hardest, Chanyeol is the fittest and Suho works himself up the most. Everyone is special in their own way, even Baekhyun, he is a hoe.

"What am I?" Sehun asks himself, tapping on the table while gently stroking Vivi's soft white curls and staring down at those big black doggy eyes. "What am I Vivi? Am I really a person? Or am I just a robot, controlled by a company and both my boyfriends left me for that shitty company. Even a hoe has a boyfriend. I want a dad Vivi. Do you wonder who your dad really is?"

Vivi stares at Sehun thoughtfully, then turns her head slowly away and rests her head back down on Sehun's lap.

"Of course you don't, your a dog. I mean, I DO know who my real dad is but, how many times do I see him a year? Should I talk to Suho mum, maybe I should shouldn't I Vivi? Vivi?" Sehun was ranting again, something Sehun dosn't do often. He is a shy timid man but on his own and around his friends he is the complete opposite. He was a shy chatterbox. Was there even such thing. He never really wondered why so many people left because of him. He dosn't like taking the blame but most of the time, he tells himself its his fault anyway. Satan is very hard on everyone, but he has a slight soft spot for his boyfriend Kai. Kai. A sweet innocent boy who always gets what he wants. He even got a girlfriend WHILE he had a boyfriend. "Vivi, why can't I be like Kai. Everybody likes Kai. What do you think? Vivi?" 

Vivi is fed up now, she looks up with tired eyes and yaps quietly, a soft sign to tell Sehun to shut up. Sehun gets what Vivi is trying to say. He has mastered all these signs. Sehun dosn't even know WHY he talks openly to Vivi, dogs can't understand English, let alone Korean. He gives up. With a sigh and a sad moan of distress, he pushes Vivi very gently onto the table so Sehun is now free to move; he gets up and pats his dog on the head. "You know what Vivi? I am going to talk to Suho and tell him how I feel about having no dad. Thanks Vivi for the help." 

Sehun was trudging slowly towards the door with a glum, sad smile on his face, ready to show his feelings to the world before a sharp bark came from behind him. He turns round suddenly, Vivi was....Vivi was smiling. she didn't stop barking until Sehun ran over and picked her up from the table.

"Whats wrong Vivi? Are you pissed at me too? Aish, I have no time for this." he puts the dog on the floor and walks of. He expects the dog to wine because thats the type of dog Vivi is, a small dog that gets bored easily and never listens to her owner and whines when she is rejected. Funny thing is, she dosn't whine and wail, she runs up to Sehun and starts to bark violently while trying to bite the end of his jumper, jumping up and barking at the same time. It was kind of scary. Scarier that satan. 

"What?" a short simple question. She keeps on barking. A short word starts to appear from all the racket. "NO. NO. NO. NO. NO." Has he gone mad or was the dog telling him not to do something.

"Are you trying to say I SHOULDN'T go talk to Suho about this?" The barking stops. Her ears stand up and her tail wags. Sehun was shocked. He asks another question. "Should I leave the situation as it is. Not interfering and letting mum just figure it our by herself?" The dog stays the same, she was...she was happy.

Vivi was the answer to all of his problems. This was all Sehun needed, a white fluffy dog with no intention to grow up. A smart helpful dog that would guide him through all his problems. He didn't need a dad. He needs Vivi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guys, this chapter was NOT what you expected was it? i needed to write this chapter to ensure that you guys know the bod between Vivi and Sehun cause this is going to be useful in the future.
> 
> lysm  
> lmfao cause this chapter was funny to write. never thought i could write so much detail about a dog and her owner...


	3. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> basically EXO get into trouble when they go into public and then turns out they are being blackmailed and if the blackmailers don't get what they want they kill, and they don't kill the people you think they will kill...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhh, turns out i am aiming for angst. who knows, i will be writing smut next, no. i cant write smut. too pure...lol not. 
> 
> 3 in one day?!!!!! i have nothing to do and am bored as fluck so yeah...enjoy it.  
> i might have a bit of Kaiguu. (kai and monguu) Monguu is Kai's dog, i THINK i am not sure. the dogs become important.  
> this fic will make u feel sad for mostly Sehun.

It was a busy night. Suho wasn't sure why Sehun was acting strange but no one was sure why satan decided to take them out to eat. The most dodgy thing happening was that satan took them to eat at 9pm. A bit late and it was winter, it was already very very very dark, dark enough to be midnight. Everyone shrugged it off, deciding to keep it as, "Maybe Satan likes the night and darkness, this has nothing to do with a kidnapping." To be far, they all we not surprised if it DID turn out to be a kidnapping, this is satan we are talking about, he was friends........

The breeze made them all chilly, cold and they were freezing. They were all hoping they would arrive soon.

"Here we are, my favourite place to eat, cheep but good," explained satan. (if you still don't know satan is kyungsoo/ D.O) They were all stunned, it was an old restaurant, clearly in poor condition and not well looked after. This was no place for idols to eat at.

"Well, if you insist." they all enter the...shop.

"Man this isn't funny, both our careers arnt going as well as planned, we have to do something. I really don''t believe that keeping a low profile around this place will help either." whispered a man, this man was looking for success. For success than he need. More success would be bad for him, he already had problems. He was talking to three more men, one of them clearly not bothered by this so he walked out the restaurant and closed the door with a bang. Okay, he was now talking to two people, both of them had their own share of success. All of them had had their downfalls. When I say downfalls, I mean downfalls. They were rich, greedy, hungry for more. More than they needed. Some may think more than they deserve.

"Hey, don't make it just about you! Hey hey hey, look. Isn't that EXO? That really "popular" K-pop group who get basically too much credit. Maybe they can help us. Hey, lets use them. I mean as an experiment." The second spoke, he winks at the other two. These three men all had masks, very hard to identify. 

"What should we use, as bait. We need to think clearly, what do we need from them?" the third man asks. "Maybe, for them to show us nobility, honestly and trust. Lets set them 9 tasks, one for each. See how they react to them. Then we'll see how noble EXO are. Are they willing to keep their fame, or their prize possessions."

"I agree, what should we use. I know, what about those other members, the past members. There was love and drama, they still clearly matter to the members, just look at them, broken. They obviously miss them." The first one was most likely the leader, the person all the information goes through. Nothing can be done without him knowing.

"I heard that Sehun guy is pretty obsessed with his dog. Also that...Jongin guy. Whats their names? Vivi and Monguu right?" The third one suggested. 

"You ain't as girly as you look mate. You have brains." The second man was rare to give positive feedback. 

 

"Your right, this shizzle is pretty good. Hang on, Suho hyung, whats you number. Whenever I clear my phone to get more storage I always end up deleting numbers" asked the very full Jongin.

"Aish, okay. Fine. Copy it of my phone." Suho hands over the phone but Jongin insists on getting Suho's number personally, making sure that he was giving HIS number instead of a random members number.

"You are too much to handle. *says number.(i can't make up a number, i dunno how it works)*. There. Happy? Okay, now lets leave. Its...10:30, I still have a lot to do. Come on kids." Nobody knows why mother Suho is rushed, maybe she wasn't sure about sitting near 3 strange men staring at them in the corner. They leave without fussing, except for Chen needing the loo, but it was smooth. Bill payed and seats pushed under the table. Idols still need manner.

 

"Write that down, his number. We could use it later. We need the dogs." says the second man," Come on, we need to know where they live. Hurry up! We have to know unless we want the dogs."

"They are just dogs, no different to any other dog." the first one chips up, clearly not bothered by the second mans requests.

"WE have a dog, I would be pretty devastated if my dog was fucking stolen. Hurry up lazy." The third man speaks with urgency in his voice. The first man finally gets up and they walk out the shop ready to follow the idols. Bill payed, seats not tucked in. Since when did greedy kidnappers need manners?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol. not proof read. okay, the next chapter is gonna be sad and when the shit starts to happen. 
> 
> lol i am so bored. WTF IS LAY NOT IN EXO'S COMEBACK. IT AINT A COMEBACK WITHOUT FUCKING ZHANG YI XING?!!!!!!! FUCK YOU SM! good luck in China ZYX! (initial goals)
> 
> OMG BAEKHYUN, CHANYEOL, D.O, SEHUN, CHEN, SUHO, XIUMIN AND KAI ALL LOOK SO HOOOOT IN THE KOKOBOP MV!!! GO CHECK IT OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
> omg i love exo soo much, lol. tooo much. NO. you can never love EXO or BTS too much. they are such BAESSS


	4. 4 (longer)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The 3 kidnappers arrive at the house and they plan to use a diversion to get EXO out of their house so they could get the dogs. The plan is a success and when the band members return, the dogs are no where to be seen or heard.  
> The 3 kidnappers somehow kidnap the 3 previous members while they were doing their own thing.  
> Then, once everything is set, they get a call from "Unknown"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhhh, did i spoil too much? anyway, this may not be proof read well. just saying. Just saying I do NOT know where EXO live and WHERE the dogs live so it is all made up.

As EXO shut the door behind them, the door lock clicks and then the lights of the house each slowly turn on, slowly going up the building. The dogs are clearly happy for their owners to arrive because you could hear the barking and laughter.The 3 kidnappers needed those dogs soon or the 3 idols they kidnapped might decide to give up on being hostages and escape. 

"Oh my god. Guys come here!" cried out loud Lay. "Kris, Tao and Luhan have gone missing...on the same day!" Lay was the only one in the house that still read newspapers, mainly Chinese ones because they normally stored the same news as Korean ones. Everybody likes Lay, he is away a lot though so the members try not to get too close to him, they don't want to go through the pain of missing someone for the 4th time. 

"WTF?!!!!!!! eh, they must be together. They are fine, we don't need to worry about them. They are fine. We are fine. EVERYBODY IS FINE!" cried out Suho, who was obviously NOT fine. He was worried. Very worried. He misses his prize son, his prize husband and his "manly" Chinese boy who got famous with his song, "Blow it like Flute". The living room was silent, Suho's shrill still echoing through the house.

"Ummm, I...WE...need to help them. They are still brothers right? We can find them. Well, I wouldn't mind seeing Luhan and Tao again when we find them. What do you say Vivi?" asked Sehun, he really did need that dog. Sadly, Vivi wasn't listening because she and Monguu where clearly having too much fun, chasing their tales and trying to wrestle with each other.

"Monguu! Calm, please. This is a serious situation, you can play later." says Kai in a low voice. Monguu listens to Kai. Kai listens the Monguu. They love each other very much and they support each other. Whenever Kai is sad Monguu is always one of the first things that help cheer him up. Kai had never met a dog like Monguu, this dog is precious to Kai. More precious than gold, fame. He could live as an unsuccessful dancer but he would still have Monguu, he will always have Monguu.

"Where do we start? ummm. If they are in China then we can't help them. We have to hope they are, for some reason, in Korea." says Baekhyun hoe. 

"I'm going for a walk, to clear my head and to figure out this situation. Its fine, I will go alone." Sehun says confidently. It was 11:00 at night but he still insisted to go alone. He is only 23 years old. 24 in Korean years. Vivi wants to go too, but Sehun strokes her fur gently and says, "Not today Vivi, maybe next time."

Sehun leaves the house and closes the door gently. After a minute of silence there is a cry from outside the house, obviously from Sehun, "WWWWHHHHYYYYY?"

Sehun walks slowly across the lawn, sitting on the bench halfway down the park walk. Takes out his phone and goes to his contacts, Luhan's number <3\. He is tempted to call it.

Ring it.

His senses tell him not too but his brain tells him to look out for his hyung. He gives up; he has given up on all hope that he would ever see his boyfriends and his dad again. He doesn't close his phone because he will need it later and puts it in his pocket gently, just for easy access. He puts it in his back pocket. The pocket where your butt is. He stands up suddenly and walks away from the bench, not noticing his phone fall out with a gentle thud on the soft grass.

 

"Look! Did you see that. WAIT you idiot, he can't see us. Leader didn't send us on this mission to fail!" whispered the third man. "Okay, go get the phone." Thats exactly what the second man did, he ran up to where the phone dropped and picked it up, whipped the screen and ran over with excitement.

"Yo bruh look! What idiot doesn't turn of their phone when they're finished using it?" smirked the second man. Now, what these men did next was genius. All the boss told them was to get a distraction using Sehun to get EXO out of the house. 

"Lets call them, like a destress call to the other members. Okay, Kai, Satan, Lay...Ahhh. Suho. Lets call SUHO!" they ring up Suho who picks up immediately.

"Sehun? Are you alright, don't say you are lost." says a radio voice version of Suho's voice.

"Ummm, yeah. I'm lost. Can you guys come get me?" says the third man. The second man was stunned of how similar the third mans voice sounded like Sehun's.

"ARGH, you are too much. Where are you?"

"Somewhere in the park. I don't know where exactly."

"Okay, we are coming." say a Suho. "NOO. I don't want tooo!" says a voice in the background. Probably satan.

They end the call.

"Okay, where should we put the phone?" asks the second man. 

"We put it where we found it. By the bench over there. We need to hurry, they will be here soon." says the third man with a hurried voice. They drop the phone by the bench and then they run to the house.

 

"You guys took SOOO long! What did you do?" The leader of the kidnappers asks.

"Okay, Sehun basically dropped his phone with it open, then, we used his phone to call Suho as a distress call saying that he was lost in the park and then all the members went out and now they are looking for him. Anyway, how are we going to get in the house?" says the third man thinking out loud.

"We could try squeeze through that window on the bottom floor." suggest the second man. Thats exactly what they do. They squeeze through the window into the living room. It is clean and tidy with no sign of movement. There, in the middle of the room where two small dogs, one white, one brown, sleeping heavily as their fury tummies lifted up and down slowly as they breathed. Snoring gently as well.

"We can't hurt them. I like dogs very much. We have to do this...gently." mutters the third man. They pick the two dogs up gently, using baskets in the living room which hold books and small foods, they put them in baskets. One for each of them.

"How much do they feed these dogs? They are so...HEAVY!" grunts the first man.

"SHUSH!" orders the third man. For just this situation, the third man is in control. He was giving the orders and the other two where listening.

The mission is a success. The second and third man have a way with dogs so they both keep them calm in the car while the first man drives slowly to his home where they would keep the dogs hostage. They drive silently through the night, no bumps and no barking from the dogs. Everything had gone to plan. Everything was going in the right direction.

 

"SEHUN!!! SEHUN!!!!" all the EXO members shout through the park. "Hang on!" shouts Chanyeol. "I've found his phone! He must of dropped it! After he called us. Panic probably; I'll give it to him later."

"AHH SEHUN! WE FOUND YOU!" yelled Kai who was obviously not aware the Sehun had a puzzled look on his face. 

"We got your call and we came to look for you!" said Suho happily. "We've found you know so lets go home now."

"I never called you. Have you got my phone, I seemed to have dropped it on the way here. Ahh, thanks Chanyeol," replies Sehun with relief as he had found his phone.

"Huh? You didn't call us? Then how did call us saying you where lost?" asked Chen with a puzzled note of concern in his voice.

"Hyungs, I never called you! I lost my phone around 11:15 when I checked my watch after I realised my phone had dropped out my back pocket. I never called you." explains Sehun who was clearly as concerned as the other members.

"Then, if it wasn't you, than who was it?" cried Xuimin. "THE HOUSE! NOW!" They all run as fast as they can to the house, the lights are on and the window open. they sprint into the house, into the living room.

"Nothing is stollen, thats good." sighs Lay with relief.

"WHERE THE FUCKING HELL IS VIV?" shouted Sehun at the top of his lungs.

"SHIT! OMG!!! I CAN'T FIND MONGUU ANYWHERE!" whimpers Kai. "WHERE ARE YOU MONGUU?! MONGUU?!"

"VIVI!!! VIVI!!! THIS ISN'T FUNNY VIVI! Please Vivi, come out. This isn't...isn't fu...funny!" Kai and Sehun are crying now. Tears of worry and despair.

The dogs had gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg that was so hard to write. Well, now the real stuff starts to happen now. Enjoy.
> 
> I HAVE JUST REALISED HOW COOL GOT7 AND SEVENTEEN ARE  
> THANKS AGAIN OJ FOR SUGGESTING THEM.
> 
> LOLOLOL  
> I FINALLY DESCIDED TO LISTEN TO THEM


	5. 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Video chats are always fun...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah, summer holiday is a time to relax. NOT! I AM DYING FOR THE FANFICS I READ TO COME OUT WITH NEW CHAPTERS.
> 
> i am writing to much  
> too much  
> ah  
> save me  
> lol (insert save me by bts)  
> this chapter will have more swearing and Sehun is a real loner. i dunno why i do dis to him  
> sehun is my bias.....

"Where is she? Why would she leave. Who would want to kidnap her. How?" muttered Sehun, he had been like this all night, missing Vivi more than he missed anything he had missed before. He needed Vivi. Vivi wasn't just a dog, she was a dog that was helping Sehun through all this shit fest that was happening. EXO had learnt to live without Kris and Luhan for 3 whole years now. They learned to live without Gucci Panda for 2 years, why all of a sudden they can't. They feel like they had just left again. 

"I NEED TO FIND HER. LET ME GO YOU LITTLE BITCH!!!!" shouted Sehun, he was clearly emotionally unstable at the moment. Kai tried to hold him back.

"HEY! YOUR NOT THE ONLY ONE WITH A LOST DOG YOU DICKHEAD! FOR FUCKS SAKE CAN YOU CALM DOWN FOR A SECOND AND THINK? CAN YOU DO THAT? FOR US? FOR MONGUU? FOR VIVI???" Kai was angry, he had never been angry. Angry turned back into sadness. There was silence. No one was sleeping. Everyone wanted to break the silence but no one knew how to...until a text came. From Suho's phone. He checked it and gasped.

Unknown: i have your dogs, if you want them back you need to do something.

you: who the fuck are you?

Unknown: i know that you are suho. do you want these dogs or what? your choice.

you: how do we know that your not lying?

Unknown: Why would we lie?

you: how did you get my number?

you: how? tell me right now.

Unknown: lets just say we where listening to your conversation in the restaurant when you gave us your number.

Unknown: very helpful to us, not so helpful to you. you see, so far, everything has gone our way

you: you where the one who took Sehun's phone and texted us. then came to the house and took the dogs

you: u stalking bitches

Unknown: don't be rude. we have your dogs

"Who are you texting hyung?" asks Kai quietly. 

"umm, this guy got my phone number, in the restaurant, and he is the one who took your dogs. He wants us to do something for him...them. They are the ones who took Sehun's phone and texted us. They have your dogs."

"WTF. Make them give my Vivi back!!!!!" orders Sehun. "How do we even know that they are telling the truth?"

"Think it through nitwit. They have our number, they knew we where in the restaurant. Of course its them," hissed satan.

you: Can we have proof you have the dogs. i dont believe you...yet

Unknown: of course. why don't you video chat? that would be much easier.

"He wants us to video chat, should we do it?" informs Suho.

"Do whatever feels right baby," answers Lay. No one knew WHY Lay and Suho were going out. They didn't mind, he was a not dad, there would only ever be one dad.

"Okay." replies Suho, staring into Lays eyes with trust and thankfulness.

"Get a room," growls satan.

you: Okay, do it

Unknown: sure thing.

-Unknown is video calling you_

PICK UP END CALL

"Hi you bitches. Give us the dogs. Show us them."

"Sure thing, here." Sure enough there where two dogs on the screen, one white, one brown. They seemed to be fine. They did seem agitated but yet they were fine with the people around them. "We seem to be getting along quite well. They seem to like us. Its as if we are old friends they haven't seen in a long time."

"Stop talking shit, they don't know you." Sehun says menacingly. He seemed to be quiet pissed that one of the men was stroking Vivi's fur gently, exactly how Sehun does it.

"Don't lay a finger on my Monguu!" Kai repeats slowly, angrily. 

"SORRY! We already have. Now, to get these dogs back you are going to do....2 tasks. It was going to be 5 but we decided to be nice okay? It was GOING to be one for each of them."

"Each of them?"

"Yes, each of them...."

"You only took 2 dogs, since when did we have 5 dogs?"

"Hahahahaha. Well, you don't think that those three Chinese people just vanished did you? We had to make sure we had things ALL of you cared about. Not just dogs. Lol you make me laugh Suho, you really do."

"You have Kris?" mutters Suho.

"You have Tao and Luhan as well?" cries Sehun softly. "What shit load of shit are you putting on here?"

"Each of the one tasks you get done, one of the dogs will be returned. As for the PEOPLE, you have to come find them, we can't make you do tasks to get humans, thats terrible and cruel."

"KIDNAPPING PEOPLE AND DOGS ARE CRUEL!" yelled Baekhyun who was also angry at this situation. He was a loyal hoe, well, loyal to his family, maybe not his boyfriend.

"Ahhhh, Baekhyun. You might want to drop the attitude because if you don't we might push it up to 3 tasks."

"Why?"

"Don't think we forgot you have a Corgi. We aren't stupid."

That shut Baekhyun up completely. He was stunned, they all where. These people really did do their research on EXO. They hadn't missed a beat. They had planned out what they wanted to do, they did it and succeeded with no hiccups what so ever.

"Fine, whats our first task."

"Well, the first two tasks are to get the dogs right? Yeah so basically they are quite entertaining. We want to put out some fun in this so the first task it to Suho. Just Suho."

"What do you want bitches. I aint doing any shit work for you." snarled Suho violently.

"Okay, this will be very fun to watch, even the fans will be entertained. You have to give up your leadership from EXO. From now on there will be no leader."

"Are you fucking serious?"

"Yes, I am being serious. Once you have found and retrieved everything you can all go back to normal."

"How is that entertaining? The fans will hate it."

"You thought I was being serious? Of course it isn't. We just want to see if you are a loyal group, this is basically revenge cause what did Kris, Tao and Luhan ever do? Nothing, you always get credit. Lets just say we are doing revenge FOR them."

"WHAT DID WE DO TO YOU????" argues Chanyeol.

"The Chinese people can tell you when you mind them."

-Unknown ended call-

Unknown: You have 1 week to get back Monguu.

"Bitches. I want to slit their throats so badly." yelled Chen, "I want to find them and kick em in the balls!"

"Babe calm down!" chipped up Xuimin, "Getting angry won't help baby. Don't worry Suho, you will always be our leader, forever."

"How are we going to though?" thought Suho, "Our next public thing is in 2 weeks. We don't have time. We have to ask SM for permission."

"They are going to ask why, you do realise, then we will have to lie. Then, once everything is sorted, Suho will become leader again!" suggested Chanyeol.

"Since when did we need to do this publicly, just tell SM and then they will put in the news or something," said D.O.

"True, Baekhyun didn't personally make his relationship with Taeyeon public. SM did it for them." laughed Kai. He was happy, he was getting Monguu back.

"Same with you and Krystal bitch," Chanyeol said flatly. Kai stopped laughing.

Sehun on the other hand was not happy, he was wondering, why does Kai always get first treatment. He need Vivi urgently. He needed Vivi more than Kai needing Monguu. Life is unfair. Sehun's life is just shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol, that was SUCH a bad chapter guys, it was really hard to write cause i couldn't give anything away. ahhh
> 
> i hate dis sooo much  
> no i dont  
> LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL  
> LMAO
> 
> I don't understand how I'm gonna write the next chapter and the next few chpaters are gonna be so PAINFUL to write. anyway
> 
> not proofread
> 
> i will be back


	6. 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The tasks are being done...slowly
> 
>  
> 
> viviestlife: WTF?! how come you get your dog first? you have two others!!
> 
> twin not twin: because they want to torture the maknae....hahahaha

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG I AM SOOO SORRY!!!!  
> I FINALLY REALISED THAT VIVI IS  
> A  
> BOY
> 
> *SWEATS*  
> vivi will be "he" instead of "she" cause i just realised that vivi is...a...boy
> 
> Kai has 3 dogs, mongguu. (i have been spelling it wrong too. it is monGguu, not monguu) hahaha i always realise things too late.

*Twin not twin*

viviestlife: WTF?! how come you get ur dog first? you have two others!!

twin not twin: because they want to torture the maknae...hahahaha

viviestlife: shut your sexy ass up

twin not twin: also they realised mongguu is more important

viviestlife: how

viviestlife: how bitch

viviestlife: how

twin not twin: cause Mongguu was in Miracles In December 

viviestlife: that was beautiful

twin not twin: ik

viviestlife: i was talking about the song

twin not twin: i was talking about my dog. 

twin not twin: has SM sent out saying suho has stopped being leader

viviestlife: yh, they said something like...EXO's Suho has paused being their leader and is resting because dealing with stress and will return soon.

twin not twin: isnt a lie thg.

viviestlife: maybe.

*ZYX*

mothersuho: this is bad lay.

ZYX: i know but its finne. babbbbby don't cry

ZYX: BABYYY DON'T CRRYYYY TONIGGHHHT, duh duh duh duh LE QI LAI!

mothersuho: whta is thta

ZYX: baby don't cry by EXO. chinese version.

mothersuho: of course it is.

ZYX: look, Kai is happy now that he is getting Mongguu back and u should be happy too.

mothersuho: i was wondering, we need a new dad

mothersuho: i AM happy for my children

mothersuho: we just

mothersuho: he just need a dad thats all

ZYX: Kris aint coming back, not after he was kidnapped cause of us.

mothersuho: i wasnt talking about...kris

ZYX: what are you saying

mothersuho: I have started developing feelings for you...do you want to be my bf?

ZYX: YESS! If it makes you happy that is...

mothersuho: i would be over

mothersuho: the

mothersuho: MOON

mothersuho: I LOVE U BABYY

ZYX: I LOVE YOU TOOOO <3 <3

*satan*

byunbyun: yo bitch

satan: what

byunbyun: when should i tell Yeollie i am cheating on him with 5 other people?

satan: 5?

byunbyun: ummm...Sehun last week

byunbyun: kai the week before that

satan: you said what?!

byunbyun: you this week

satan: you are a gay hoe who should go cheat on himself

byunbyun: thank you for the kind words

byunbyun: thank you so much Satansoo

*Yeollie*

byunbyun: yeollie

Yeollie: yah

Yeollie: what is it

byunbyun: i am a hoe

Yeollie: i know. 

byunbyun: so you know i cheat on u

Yeollie: yes i do

byunbyun: for...fun

Yeollie: oh, for like...fun?

Yeollie: when you mean fun, do you mean, like you find it fun to cheat on me

byunbyun: Noo!!! Of course not! it isnt fun to cheat on you!

Yeollie: then why u do it?

byunbyun: i am a hoe, i can't stop myself for finding interests in other men. i am GAY hoe

Yeollie: so when you mean fun

Yeollie: you mean, pleasure?

byunbyun: not that either, just a casual fling. i will only ever be with you!

Yeollie: am i not enough?

byunbyun: YOU ARE!!!

Yeollie: i am in our room, where are you?

byunbyun: with Sehun

Yeollie: oh, casual fling

Yeollie: if i am the only one for you, then, why do you need everyone else?

byunbyun: i dont even know! i dont even love them! i just flirt with them. i dont even realise!!!! It is unintentional!! 

Yeollie: unintentional? u sure boi

byunbyun: hehe boi. lemme come to our room, we can actually talk

Yeollie: i am waiting

*minmin*

minmin: cheeennnnnniiieeeeee

chendino: what do u want hyung

minmin: guess what i heard from Lay!!

chendino: what did you hear from Lay

minmin: HE AND SUHO ARE DATING!!!!!

minmin: he isn't our dad, he is just mums boyfriend

chendino: isn't that inccest or something?

minmin: chen, we are inccest

chendino: what is inccest?

minmin: when family do naughty things with each other

chendino: so thats basically u doing your sister?

minmin: yeah

chendino: that is A class gross

minmin: yeah. anyway, we are all adopted, it is clear.

chendino: ik but i want to think of us a family

minmin: so you want to think of EXO fucking their brothers?

chendino: hell no

minmin: lysm bbabbe

chendino: ly morre

minmin: love you mooreee

chendino: LOVE YOU MORRE

minmin: no you don't

chendino: okay hyung

*viviestlife*

viviestlife: is it sad to have a chat to myslef?

vivestlife: no

viviestlife: do u think Vivi misses me?

vivestlife: she is ur bae. of course she does

viviestlife: thx Sehun, i appreciate your comfort

viviestlife: ur welcome sehun, anytime

viviestlife: am i a loser

viviestlife: yeah

viviestlife: a single loser

viviestlife: yeah

viviestlife: a single loser who has casual flings with a hoe 

viviestlife: yeah

viviestlife: you can shut up now

viviestlife: yeah

It has been 6 days and Kai was due to get Mongguu back in 2 days. Sehun wanted the next task to come out quickly, he needs Vivi, he just does. Those 6 days without Vivi have been painful, hard stoney days where he had no one to cuddle, talk openly too. His walks where now lonely, he didn't even want to walk anymore, most of them had been with Vivi. That one walk

That ONE walk

ONE

IF he hadn't walked that day none of this would be happening. It was all his fault. 

ALL his fault.

HE takes the blame without a doubt

EVERYONE knows it was his fault.

Everyone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a light chapter, nothing important. lololol 
> 
> to OJ BABE 
> 
> jks. lysm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> OMG EXO'S COMEBACK STAGE OF KOKO BOP WAS INSANE!!!!!!
> 
> kai got his hair back. YAYAYAY


	7. 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter are the fans reactions, it is not that important to the plot but it just adds to the story about the outside world relating to EXO.
> 
> The last section of the chapter is Kai getting Mongguu back and yeah. HaAppy days

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lols, this chapter aint that important. I am really hyper after listening to Cypher and Koko bop. Also i just danced and drank some Coke sooo....might not be a really good chapter

fan1: hey girls!! Have u heard the news lately?

fan2: no. whats happened.

fan3: is it important?

fan2: is it EXO by any chance?

fan1: yeeeee. it is. Suho has stopped being leader!!1 all the fans are really mad. they all blame it on SM for not treating them right

fan1: this has bin going for a while now

fan3: reallly? omg thats bad. is it forever?

fan1: no, they only said it was for a little while

fan2: why has he stepped down? oh yeah, Sehun hasn't posted any picture of Vivi yet.

fan2: he does them quite regularly

fan3: maybe hes just gone and taken a break from posting

fan1: BACK to the ACTUAL thing we r talking about, apparently it is to with stress 

fan4: stress?

fan3: OMG!! HIIII. u never talk on this chat

fan4: bye

fan1: maybe something has happened.

fan1: like something bad which means they have to stop or something

fan2: i doubt it. it just for a while as u said

fan3: could be actually, i really am worried thg

fan1: they are quite uptight though

fan1: umm, the rest of EXO seem to be fine though

fan3: Sehun always seems bothered or upset by something

fan2: Kai always looks like he is excited for something to happen

fan1: well, we shouldn't get to bothered. 

fan1: they know what they r doing

fan2: what makes u think that?

fan3: is 3 members leaving "knowing what they are doing"

fan3: speaking of those 3, they have gone missing in China

fan2: huh? REALLY?

fan1: they just vanished together

fan2: how come i didnt know?

fan1: cause ur too busy worrying about other stuff

fan3: but they havn't come back yet

fan1: all the companies said it was holiday, they just...left!

..............................................................................................................................................................

"GUYS!!!! WE HAVE MAIL!!!! Also a letter," yells Lay. It was the day Mongguu was due to be returned. The only thing heard was Kai stomping down the stair while banging into the wall, trying to stop himself tripping up on the carpet.

"MONGGUUUUUUUUUUUUU!" shrieks Kai. "OPEN IT!"

They grabs the scissors and cuts open the box while Suho deals with the letter. 

"HE'S...HE'S DEAD!!!!!" cries out Lay, they are silent. The cold breeze filling the air, tension filling the atmosphere. "OMGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just kidding guys, hes just sleeping."

"LAY HYUNG! IMMA KILL YOU! AFTER I get my dog back."

Everyone came crashing down the stairs, ready to see the dog. Everyone, except Sehun. He was in his room, sobbing quietly under his duvet, trying to forget the fact that he was the one suffering the most. His dog gone, boyfriends...stolen. Father, kidnapped and most of all, the only single person in the whole of EXO. He was thinking, "How could a hoe get a boyfriend before me?!" He didn't want to leave, he didn't was the see the others, he just wanted Vivi back.

"Mooooonnngggguuuuu....wake up Mongiii!" whispered Kai, gently stroking and ruffling Mongguu's fur. Mongguu stirred and looked up from the cardboard box bed he was sleeping in. He suddenly bolted upright after seeing his owner and started yapping happily, licking and jumping on Kai, sending Kai falling backwards. Everyone was laughing, even Suho who had forgotten how his band was risking their reputation just to save some shit people who left their group.

Sehun however, after hearing Mongguu's barks made him cry even more. He suddenly came to his senses; if he was going to be a bitch like was was being right that moment he was never going to get Vivi back. He got up, wiped his tear stained face and walked down he stairs, going closer and closer towards the laughter, trying not to cry.

"Sehun! There you are!" laughed Chanyeol. Everyone was happy now, well, almost everyone.

"I was...sleeping," he said abruptly, it wasn't a lie. He had been in bed. After Mongguu saw him he lept of Kai and made for Sehun, Sehun tried to dodge but didn't get out the way quick enough and was brought to the floor by a small dog. 

"What is it Mongguu?" asked Sehun quietly. "Is it Vivi?" The dog panted loudly, slightly nodding while jumping up and down on Sehun's tummy. "It IS Vivi? Is he alright?"

The dog was nodding, ears up, tail wagging fiercely, fur bobbing up and down when he jumped. Sehun was suddenly much much happier. Vivi was okay. He was okay.

"YAYAYAYAYYAYAYAYAAYYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!!!" cried Sehun, he was going to get Vivi back soon, all happy and healthy, everything was going to be fine. They would all the fine...

"Guys, a letter as well!" pointed out Baekhyun. He was right, on the desk was a letter, white and new. "I'll open it. I will also read it out loud being the good MC I always am..." The came a laugh, from satan who obviously disagreed.

"You're first challenge is done, it went down a treat! My plan perfect as usual. Anyway, this is the last task, to get Vivi back. This challenge is to all of EXO. We couldn't think of anything to do so your last task is to find us. Find the three members. We are on the opposite side of Korea to you, and we will have hints everywhere around our side of Korea. Look out for black and white sheets of paper with a planet on it. They will be around and will have hints on them. The planet means EXO-Planet, so a direct message to you. They will not be obvious or it would be no fun. We will give advice. Stick to the routes we give you and we suggest you split up, we live in a big area." Baekhyun finished, "I missed a bit...err... oh yeah. YOU HAVE 2 WEEKS"

"2 WEEKS?!!!!!!!! THATS NOTHING! Ummm, think. We need a place to stay, firstly, how are we gonna get SM to agree it as a holiday?" mumbled satan. "Those bitches better mean it."

The next day they tried their best to persuade SM for a holiday, for them to let loose for 2 weeks for them to calm down and relieve Suho's stress. They all knew this would only raise their stress but they didn't tell SM that bit. To their amazement, SM agreed and agreed to arrange where they stay and the payment. EXO told them on the other side of Korea to where they were now, SM asked, "WHERE??" This made them panic, they couldn't guess where they would be!

you: This is Suho, can you tell us where you will be? Just which area? Busan? Daegu? Ulsan?

Unknown: we will be somewhere... I told you to split up...

you: yes but...

Unknown: split into two. One goes to Yangsan, one goes to Busan. 

you: Busan and Yangsan? 

you: if you guys are all the way over there... but you came to Seoul, how did you get back so quick?

Unknown: three of us. Three houses.

you: u bitches better not move houses when we look for you, no wonder Mongguu was so tired, he had been on the longest journey for a dog EVER!

Unknown: come find us, we will be there. :))))) ;)

you: stalker

"Well, Sehun, Kai, Chanyeol, D.O and Baekhyun want to go to Busan. While me, Minseok, Jongdae and Lay want to got to Yangsan," explained Suho to SM, they agreed to split them up reluctantly. Suho had decided to split them up with hyungs to maknaes. That was worrying, no one smart was in that group, they just hoped they wouldn't get in trouble.

After two whole days of booking and packing, they set off in two different directions. Saying goodbye in the airport was hard, since one plane set of 1 hour before the other, the Yangsan group watched the Busan plane take off. The hyung line had never been so worried for the maknae line, never in their whole life.

Sehun wanted to be with Vivi so badly.  
Baekhyun wanted to be with Chanyeol.  
Kai had secretly smuggled Mongguu, refusing to leave him behind.  
Satansoo didn't want to be here at all.  
Chanyeol just had thoughts of keeping Baekhyun safe, Baekhyun was a hoe, but, Baekhyun was HIS hoe.

The Yangsan flight FINALLY took off, they has already wasted 2 days out of 14, they needed all the time they could get. They where finally doing this. Once and for all. They would leave Busan or Yangsan happy with everything they wanted, the dogs and maybe a few talks and catch-ups with the 3 members, the 3 kidnappers in prison and balls kicked off. Sehun would be so much happier with Vivi back. This was Suho's dream, but he had learnt from the past...dreams don't always come true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not proof read. These events are NOT true. The fan bit isn't important, the fans don't come up any other times, just this time
> 
> lolol  
> lmao  
> dying slowly. coke is bad for u. WHO CARES FUCK!  
>  took soo looonnnnggggg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> 1\. This will have some agsnt, not major angst  
> 2\. I will try swerve round smut but with Baekhyun as a hoe that will be quite hard  
> 3\. I'm not sure whether to leave it at agnst or try make it a happy ending  
> 4\. like most fics they are NOT TRUE!!!!! This is all made up  
> 5\. the inside jokes are not made up though. D.O is actually satan and Baekhyun does have some MAJOR hoe moments.


	8. 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "This HAS to be a 5 star hotel!" cried out Baekhyun
> 
> "Yeah, the same number as your back-up boyfriends," snorted satan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to plan this for 2 days cause i needed a way to fit tons of...stuff in one bloomin chapter. It is 8:19 in the morning and I haven't had breakfast yet set so...
> 
> yeah  
> enjoy.
> 
> ALSO BAD SMUT ALERT!!!!! IF YOU DON'T LIKE SMUT OR BAD SMUT then i will put a <> before it and a <> at the end.  
> and its not even smut  
> it is BAD before naughty thing writing..  
> I WAS CRINGING AS I WROTE  
> U WILL CRINGE WHEN U READ  
> U HAVE BEEN WARNED

"This HAS to be a 5 star hotel!" cried out Baekhyn.

"Yeah, the same number as your back-up boyfriends," snorted satan.

The Busan group had arrived at their hotel and started to look around. They were happy with the size, state and how it looked. It was one of the best hotels in Busan and SM had done a great job of booking a 2 bedroom room. One bedroom had two beds, the other had three beds.

"WHAT THE BLOOMING HECK! OMG GUYS, LOOK AT THIS BEDROOM!!!!!" shouted Baekhyun. They were all used to luxury hotels and apartments but this was different. The situation was different. Baekhyun had always been excited about new living areas but it was normally Minseok who shut him up, reminding him they had neighbours. Well, Minseok wasn't here so there was no one to stop him.  
Baekhyun was right about the bedroom, its two beds where both queen size with a table in-between. There was a sofa and a mini glass table in front of a TV and on the side closest to the door there where two closets, two cupboards, four shelves and two coat hangers on the backside of the door. "THIS IS ME AND YEOLLIE'S BEDROOM!!!!"

"Baekhyunee, you haven't seen the other one yet!" laughed Chanyeol.

"I know but, well, I want to share a room with just you Yeollie, it makes me happier. Can you do that for me Yeollie?" muttered Baekhyun shyly.

"Oh my god baby yes!!!!" Chanyeol squealed, running to Baekhyun, giving him a big warm kiss on the lips and a huge teddy bear hug which Baekhyun could never escape from. Never. Baekhyun didn't want to anyway, he wanted to stay the way they were, kissing softly and hugging tightly. It was perfect until...

"Get your own room guys," Satan said loudly, he was laughing but not, at the same time. SCARY!!!!

*EXODUS*

baozi: have you guys landed okay?

viviestlife: yes hyung, we r fine

sexydancer: how r u guys?

byunbyun: OUR HOTEL IS AMAZING!!! THANK YOU SUHO MUM!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG THIS IS AMAZING

byunbyun: ME AND YOELLIE R SHARING A BEDROOM WITH JUST US!!! IT IS AMAZING!!!

real_pcy: ;)

byunbyun: :D

mothersuho: i am glad my children like their home for the next 2 weeks

666: btw Baekhyung, its Yeollie and I

666: not me and yeollie

byunbyun: whatEVER!!!!

byunbyun: we get the better bedroom!

sexydancer: we have a balcony!!!

byunbyun: well we have a

real_pcy: WE ARE EVEN!!!!!!!

byunbyun: sorry yeollie

mothersuho: well, we haven't arrived at our hotel i Yangsan yet 

mothersuho: thanks for asking

byunbyun: i am busy now so i am leaving this

byunbyun: lol, not. i will be back soon

sexydancer: bye

baozi: may i ask, how do u have wifi?

viviestlife: how do U have wifi

#slay: i am writing a flipping song for my solo career

#slay: can u ask chanyeol if i should have a rap at the start or end

vivestlife: gee thanks hyung

#slay: waht?

viviestlife: i can rap bitch

sexydancer: i will ask for u lay hyung

#slay: i know but, you only got like, 5 lines in 5 years

viviestlife: how many did u get

viviestlife: thats what i thought

sexydancer: OMG FUCKING GOD I WALKKED IN ON THE WRONG FUCKING MOMENT

sexydancer: SAVE MEEEEE

666: drama queen

666: what actually happened

sexydancer: I OPENED THE DOOR A TINY BIT AND I HEARD...NOICES

sexydancer: I OPENED THE DOOOR A LITTLE WIDER AND I SAE...

sexydancer: KYUNGSOO THEY WERE DOING IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

666: well at least he did it with his actual partner this time

666: That time in EXO Next Door

viviestlife: you know that was for filming purposes

sexydancer: THEY WERE ACTUALLY DOING IT. ON A BED

mothersuho: i am proud for my children

666: shut up

chendino: what tf have i missed?

baozi: SEND A PIC

sexydancer: EWWW NO. HYUNG U GROSS

chendino: 0o0. U NEED A PICTURE OF THEM DOING IT?

chendino: U HAVE ME U SHITBAG

baozi: it was a joke jongdae

chendino: ( ± _ ± ) 

baozi: i got a picture when we were doing it

chendino: okay, not here hyungee

666: real shitty thing is

666: we r on the same floor as them

#slay: floor as who

#slay: i told u shits to quiet down, what do i get? BUZZ. and u guys are talking about hoe and park having sex

#slay: we really needed to know that

mothersuho: we have a proper situation we need to deal with at the mo

viviestlife: yes, TO FIND MY VIVI WHO IS MISSING HIS DADDY

byunbyun: hi guys

666: scroll up

sexydancer: NO DON'T. PLEASE BAEKHYUN!!!

real_pcy: WTF HAVE U BEEN TALKING ABOUT?!!!!!!!!!

real_pcy: KIM JONGIN!

byunbyun: guys...have u been spyin?

666: yes

sexydancer: NO!!! i was gonna ask u a question chanyeol but i walked in at the wrong time!!!!!!!!!!!

real_pcy: i could of texted u know. why did u tell everyone?!

sexydancer: I DUNNO!!!!

byunbyun: its fine Yeollie, everyone knows i do it with everyone, me and u doing it is well...

real_pcy: okay Baekhyunee. its fine

byunbyun: thx yeollie

baozi: lol guys, lmao

chendino: hahahahhahahahaha guys, comedy soap right there. better than Love Island.

666: u watch that shit?

mothersuho: we r in Korea as well

mothersuho: is it even possible?

chendino: yes...but no at the same time

chendino: i

chendino: use

chendino: illegal

666: websites

chendino: websites

baozi: I?? WE! 

mothersuho: WE?

mothersuho: u teach him to watch that fudge fest?!

baozi: yee

baozi: there is this really cool guy

baozi: his name is

chendino: CHRIS

mothersuho: @.@

mothersuho: u can stop now

#slay: STFU

 

"YEOLLIE!!!!" called Baekhyun. He was sitting on his bed, shitting himself. He had decided it was time to tell and show how much he loved his boyfriend. He loved him so much Chanyeol has always had faith in Baekhyun, even through the obvious cheating and all the heavy dating drama, he still loved Baekhyun. Baekhyun loved Chanyeol the same amount.

"Yup, whats up hoe," Chanyeol said warmly. Baekhyun didn't like being called a hoe, even though he was a hoe. The only catch, it was okay when Chanyeol said it.

"Umm, sit down Yeollie," Baekhyun said softly.

"Is this a speech, or a lecture. I hate lectures, I hate speeches even more," muttered Chanyeol.

"No, this is umm...well...well its about me...me cheating on you," Baekhyun said nervously. He was waiting for Chanyeol's reaction. Angry, sad, happy or, the worst, NO reaction.

"Oh. Well, what do you want to say?" Chanyeol scowled.

"I just want to say how much I love you. I love you more than anyone and you mean everything to me! I can't help cheating and being a...a hoe! If you could see the real me then you would know how much I love you and that I would risk anything for you!" cried Baekhyun.

"Don't be upset. I know how much you love me. I love you just as much, I really do. I have NEVER questioned our relationship ONCE EVER!"

"Really?"

"Really."

"OH YEOLLIE! YOU MAKE ME CRY SO MUCH!! I LOVE YOU YEOLLIE! I love you I love you I love you I love you!!"

"Okay, I love you too Baekhyun. Don't every cry about this again okay! Now I need to do something to cheer you up!"

"No, I need to do something to make it alright Chanyeol, whatever you say I will always feel guilty for what I have done, what I HAVE become. I need to put you first in this relationship now. What do you want?"

"I want you to be happy" Chanyeol smiled. They loved cuddles. Chanyeol sitting up, using the bed head board as a back rest, Baekhyung lying on him, his head on Chanyeols shoulder and arms wrapped around each other, keeping them safe. 

"What do you really want?"

"For you to be happy! If you really want to make me happy I need to see you happy first. What do you want Baekhyun?"

"I want you."

<>

"Yeo...Yeollie?" stuttered Baekhyun, "What...what are you doing?"

"What do you think? I think its time you do it with your real boyfriend. Don't you think?" Chanyeol said nervously.

They were both shy, nervously shy. They new what to do yet they were scared they were going to mess up. Baekhyun was experienced on how to have fun and how to lol while doing it, but Chanyeol was as experienced as a baby was. Aka, not experienced at all.

"Do you know what to do?"

"N...no. No I don't Baekhyunee. I'm sorry if I disappointed you," Chanyeol stammered sadly.

"Never, just means I will have to be in charge!" Baekhyun smiled happily. Chanyeol smiled back.

"You? You in charge?" laughed Chanyeol, "I can't wait to see what thats like"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> END OF CHAPTER!  
> lololololololol
> 
> sorry guys


	9. 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stuff happens. after chanbaek we switch to Yangsan, ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> how many winks have i included ;)  
> listening to 3.6.5 and XOXO
> 
> <3 EXO <3  
> i hope u enjoy
> 
> i promise the next chapter they will start looking  
> again i am using the <> so don't read the beginning ;P

<>

"YEOLLIIIIEEE!" cried out Baekhyun. "Why are you so..."

"Don't say it, you will make me blush. I don't like looking submissive. Please Baekhyunee, don't tease me," begged Chanyeol. This was his first time ever, he was glad it was with Baekhyun.

"Okay Yeollie. I won't. I will do whatever you ask," Baekhyun squealed. 

"AISH! I don't want to be that dumb ass dominant either."

"Okay then Yeollie. You wouldn't be dominant anyway, I am top. You make me laugh whenever we talk."

"Thats good, I mean making you laugh...Not that YOU are doing it good. Obviously." Chanyeol blushed anyway.

"Hahaha, okay, sure."

"Baekhyun..."

"Yeah?"

"Take good care of me. As in be...you know..."

"I'll be gentle Yeollie, don't worry. I would never hurt you, I will always protect you. With me around, you will be safe."

"You are the best boyfriend ever Baekhyunee."

"Even as a hoe?"

"Even as a hoe."

They laughed lightly.

"Bae..Baekhyunee...I am not u...used to this."

"Shhh, its fine."

"Baekhyun...BAEKHYUNEE!"

<>

"Yeollie...are you okay?" asked Baekhyun nervously.

"I'm...I'm fine," stuttered Chanyeol, "I am glad my first time was with you Byun Baekhyun."

"First time?"

"Ummm, yeah."

"Shall me tell the others?"

"Sure Baekhyunee, by text. I can't be bothered to move...cause of...you know."

"Yeah, I get it."

"Shall I text Baekhyunee? I'll get my phone."

Chanyeol reached to his phone on the side table and switched on his phone and checked his messages.

"WTF????!!!!"

 

"MINSEOK!!! WHERE ARE YOU!?" cried out Jongdae. The Yangsan Group had FINALLY arrived at their hotel. Their room was bigger than anticipated and Minseok seemed to be lost in the maze of different rooms. 

"I'M HERE JONGDAE!" cried out a puzzled Minseok who was clearly unaware that he was in the same bathroom as before. "Thats strange, this bathroom looks exactly the same as the other one!"

"SUHO! Why does this room have three bathrooms that look exactly the same?" asked Minseok.

"It dosn't mate," said Lay suddenly. "You have been going in circles."

"Oh."

*EXODUS*

mothersuho: we have arrived safe

mothersuho: thanks for asking

666: np

mothersuho: -_-

sexydancer: er, mum

mothersuho: yeah

sexydancer: i need to tell you something

sexydancer: i kind of

sexydancer: i smuggled Mongguu on this trip

mothersuho: WHAT?!

viviestlife: THATS WHERE ALL THE BARKING IS FROM!

viviestlife: I THOUGHT IT WAS NEXT DOOR!

real_pcy: you have to be joking

real_pcy: how the hell did he get through the airport?

sexydancer: i told the airport ppl, just not u guys

sexydancer: i knew u guys wouldn't approve

byunbyun: ?

sexydancer: u guys would be like

sexydancer: oh, he will get kidnapped

sexydancer: its not safe

sexydancer: and all that shizz

666: go to hell

sexydancer: no thank you

666: okay, fine, go to the underworld

chendino: what have we missed

baozi: OMG!!! KEM AND AMBER WON!!!!!!

mothersuho: what is this?

dinochen: Love Island

baozi: YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!! I WANTED THEM TO WIN!!

chendino: I wanted Chris and Olivia to win ;P

mothersuho: piss off

baozi: wtf, why did u bring Mongguu with u?

baozi: its like u WANT him to be kidnapped again!

666: he will go to hell

666: u all will

viviestlife: what shit are u talking about this time?

666: i am using my connections with the devil

666: he is telling me this trip isn't gonna go well

666: we will burn in Korean hell

sexydancer: okay

sexydancer: you can stop talking about bad stuff

sexydancer: stop it

sexydancer: you scary af man

#slay: can you not talk about stupid stuff on a group chat

#slay: i want to sleep and go on private u shits

baozi: just go on mute 

#slay: okay hyung

baozi: i LOVE being hyung

chendino: why

baozi: i get first pick on ANYTHING cause i am the OLDEST hyung

baozi: and everyone has to listen to me

mothersuho: stop showing off

real_pcy: okay

byunbyun: i think we should start searching soon

byunbyun: we only have 11 days left

666: who's fault was that

viviestlife: WE START TOMORROW WHETHER YOU LITTLE SHITS LIKE IT

mothersuho: SEHUN!

viviestlife: WHAT?! I WANT MY VIVI

chendino: okay

chendino: we will start tomorrow

real_pcy: stop going crazy 

byunbyun: yeah

sexydancer: what is your hotel room like?

mothersuho: nice

baozi: BIG

baozi: LIKE REALLY BIG

chendino: no it isn't

chendino: he is just saying that cause he got lost

mothersuho: he got lost in our hotel room

mothersuho: he says that SM made us live in a maze

baozi: THEY HAVE!

baozi: EVERY ROOM LOOKS EXACTLY THE SAME!

chendino: it is only a 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom, and huge living room hotel room.

baozi: omg, if they had a kitchen i would be LOST 

chendino: u allready was lost

baozi: '.'

666: so ur saying

666: our oldest

666: most intelligent hyung

666: got LOST

sexydancer: in a hotel room 

viviestlife: which only has 5 rooms

byunbyun: omg, thats so 

real_pcy: weird

byunbyun: how could u get lost?

baozi: there r SO MANY DOORS

chendino: no there aren't 

baozi: I THOUGHT THE FRONT DOOR WAS THE DOOR TO MY BEDROOM

chendino: just you

baozi: fine, it is confusing okay

baozi: u walk through the front door

baozi: to ur right there is a door, to ur left there is a door, in front there is a door

baozi: door to right is mine and chens room

chendino: to the left is suho and lays bedroom

mothersuho: door in front is living room

666: that isn't hard to figure out

baozi: AND ALSO

666: ergh

baozi: each bedroom has a door leading into the living room!!!

baozi: THATS 5 FLIPPING DOORS

baozi: + the front door = 6!

real_pcy: again, not that hard

byunbyun: i thinks we should go to sleep now

viviestlife: big day

666: how

viviestlife: TO FIND MY DOG U PUNK

sexydancer: don't be a douche 

mothersuho: just go to sleep

mothersuho: night night children!

666: sleep in

viviestlife: hell

chendino: we get the flopping point

chendino: night Busan ppl

real_pcy: night Yangsan ppl

#slay: I am awake now!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehehehe  
> next chapter will be Yangsan AND Busan searching  
> dont worry my kidrens 
> 
> thx for the support   
> keep leaving comment and kudos i likes
> 
> next chapter will have bad humor so read at ur own risk  
> like u decided to read the chanbaek  
> i am proud


	10. 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "We've lost Chanyeol!"
> 
> "Just do that Wolf thing, and he will come."
> 
> "Oh, you mean Chogi..."
> 
> "Don't."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey yo, they ARE FINALLY doing the search, lets start with Busan, then Yangsan
> 
> anyway. i love EXO-M. I am a M. lol  
> i still don't understand the meaning of life yet. lol  
> not  
> i dont geddit  
> plez help meey  
> lol  
> lmfao  
> i don't have one  
> i am dead  
> i am dying  
> read plez. leave kudos and coments that i love readin  
> i am so proud of them. lol. not  
> i have gone cray cray

The streets of Busan were busy and the group were trying very hard to stay together. They finally broke from the crowd into a less busy area with a fountain and seats which were infested by birds. The air was cold and they had masks on their faces, now was not the time to get noticed as EXO members.

"BUBBLE TEA!!!! Can we get some Baekhyuneee. PLEASE!!!" begged Sehun, who had a strange addiction to bubble tea. 

"Why you asking me?" Baekhyun said happily. He FINALLY got some attention. Well, hyung attention because he always got general attention. 

"Caaauuuseee, you are the oldest hyung in this group!" explained Sehun.

"Oh yeah. My answer is...no," smirked Baekhyun, "Aren't you the one who wanted to find Vivi?"

"Yeah, sorry," Sehun apologized sadly. He really did like bubble tea. 

"Okayyy...lets split up. Wait. Where is Chanyeol and Jongin?" asked satan.

"Oh for FUCKS SAKE!" shouted Sehun. He was still mad for not getting bubble tea.

"We've lost Chanyeol!"

"Just do that Wolf thing, and he will come."

"Oh, you mean Chogi..."

"Don't."

"So basically Luhan and "Sit down, enjoy the mayo?" "asked satan.

"Yes, basically Satansoo."

"But Luhan left."

"......... I'll say this once...bitch don't test me."

They spent ages looking for Chanyeol and Jongin, but they had no luck until...

"OMG GUYS LOOK!!!!!" loled Sehun who had seen something. In a bush, just in front of them, was a poster, a black and white poster, with a Planet in the background.

"THEY HAVE TO BE IN BUSAN!!!! Argh. Shitty wifi, shitty service, no shitty 4G. Where the fuck are we?" 

"READ IT YOU DUMB AS SATANSOO!" Baekhyun said urgently. They no longer cared for Chanyeol and Jongin.

"Well done, you have found the 2nd part of the riddle!   
Perfect conditions for lucky lucky fishes ;). WTF?" read out satan. Not the WTF bit though.

"Perfect conditions for lucky lucky fishes...The sea?"

"A tank? Hang on. What rhymes with fishes? Dishes, bitches...lucky lucky bitches?"

"No, I don't think its a strip club Baekhyun."

"Mishes, pishes, mishes..."

"Those are made up words Sehun."

"WISHES!! Lucky lucky wishes! Maybe thats the first clue! ARGH! WE NEED THAT CLUE!"

"It could be, but what would the perfect condition for wishes? I think it could be fishes..."

"GUYS! BAEKHYUN! KYUNGSOO! SEHUN!!!!" came a voice. It was Jongins. "WE HAVE A CLUE!"

"Hey! I was going to tell them!" moaned Chanyeol.

"What is it? We have the second clue!"

"We have the first clue!!! YES!!! Read it!!!"

"A waste of your money just for some wishes," Chanyeol said confidently, "What about yours?"

"Perfect conditions for lucky lucky fishes," Satan said slowly.

"A fortune teller? They ask for LOADS of money just for some shit fortune and wishes," suggested Jongin.

"Nah, what about that thing where they make you look into "special" water to see the future but its really expensive."

While everyone was thinking Sehun was standing alone, staring into nothingness, thinking to himself.

"A waste of your money just for some wishes, perfect conditions for lucky lucky fishes, lucky fishes. Water...waste of your money...hmmm, wishes, fishes. Money? Just for some wishes. Perfect conditions for lucky lucky fishes. A wishing well? A WISHING WELL. No, there are none here. This place is too civilized to have a wishing well..." muttered Sehun to himself. "Hang on..." He was looking at the fountain opposite where they were standing. 

"A WISHING FOUNTAIN!!! THAT FOUNTAIN!!!!" Sehun out bursted suddenly, he ran to the fountain the find hundreds of coins, tossed into the water and at the far end of the fountain was a folded piece of paper, gently balancing on the edge of the rim of the fountain. Sehun opened it slowly, and inside was a black and white sheet of paper, with a planet in the background. On the sheet were a set of words. He had found the next clue.

 

"AHHH, MINEE! Seokie I am tired!" whined Chen.

"Kim Jongdae you are a grown man who has enough leg muscle to last him a life time. I highly doubt you are tired." Xiumin argued. 

"But..." started Chen. Xiumin cut him off before he could say anymore.

"No buts Jongdae." 

"I hope the Busan people have found a clue cause we have searched the whole main city! I don't think there is a not here!" moaned Suho who was fed up and wanted to binge watch Red Velvet music videos.

"I think you should stop being a dad and start being a mum. We are gonna find one." Lay said crossly. He stormed around the city centre in a circle while the others watched him and he stopped. He stopped. He had seen something.

"I TOLD YOU! I HAVE FLIPPING FOUND ONE! LOOK! WHITE AND BLACK PAPER WITH A PLANET. NEVER DOUBT ME!" roared Lay. 

"Have you actually?! They must be in Yangsan then!"

"Read it!"

"Go to the temple of 1,300 years."

"Is that it?"

"Yep."

"It says that its an old Buddhist temple so we better get going."

"Agreed."

 

"GUYS I HAVE THE CLUE!" shouted Sehun across the square. They all ran over staring at him, "It was a wishing fountain. Wishes, money and water for LUCKY fish."

"Show off. What does it say?"

"Congrats congrats you are in the right place. As for your friends...tell them the truth to stop their chase."

"Huh? Thats not a clue!"

"Its not, we just need to tell them the right thing, or "their chase" will go on forever!"

"What you saying?"

"I think its, if we tell them the wrong thing then they will go in circles!"

"So you are saying that they are in Busan?!"

"NO! They could be in Yangsan, just we need to tell them something to help them so they don't go in circles. I think its in these clues or maybe its something to do with something thats already happened in Busan today."

"What do we say?"

"I don't know."

The thing that they hadn't realised was that the answer was right before their very eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yyayayayyay, finally.
> 
> BTS saved me from my catastrophe of death. I listened to Cypher pt4 and I was revived. I thanks thee.
> 
> i hope you enjoyed this chapter and but in the comments what you think happens next. Cause really, I am writing as i go. 
> 
> yh so  
> put in the comments what YOU think happens next.


	11. 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The Busan group has already found the 3rd clue and the Yangsan group are already making their way to the 1,300 year old temple."
> 
> "Good, we want some time to spare at the end of this fun journey."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyo!!!!!! i hope u guys like my new icon. I DO!!!!  
> hope you have enjoyed this fic so far!  
> lollol  
> i use lol too much.  
> check out my other fics and see which style you like best. I am thinking of doing another script which is KINDA a one off stand but not at the same time. It will be a script love triangle. yay  
> totally not confusing.

"How is EXO doing on their little quest?" asked the leader who was sitting comfortably on a sofa which both feat up, his back resting against the sofa back.

"They are doing okay mate. They are getting close. I think they will reunite quickly," answered the third man.

"Why do you say that?"

"The Busan group has already found the 3rd clue and the Yangsan group are already making their way to the 1,300 year old temple."

"Good, we want some time to spare at the end of this fun journey."

"Do you think they will work out the answer to the third hint?" wondered the second man. The second man was stroking Vivi's fur gently while Vivi slept on his lap. Vivi seemed to be enjoying himself, he wasn't scared of these men.

"Yeah, I hope so anyway. They aren't stupid, but they...lack...in different areas of knowledge."

"This will be fun to watch, I promise you that guys."

 

The Yangsan group had finally made it to the temple which was crowded with visitors. How were they EVER going to find a tiny piece of paper in this huge tourist attraction?

"Ahh, nope thats just a shit of paper, that one? Nope, okay....errrrrr," struggled Lay. He was determined to find the next one, just the same way he found the first one.

"OMG GUYS!!! THERE!!! Why the fluck is it on top of a dragon gargoyle?" sassed Xiumin.

"Well get it!!!" barked Chen. I thought he was a dinosaur too. Suddenly there was a strong blow from the wind and the piece of paper flew into the air and was tumbling and toppling on the street floor. The four men chasing it looked like right lunatics but those four men needed that piece of paper or they were stuck on their journey.

"Geddit!!!" slurred Suho. They were all running until, they paused. There was a dog...chewing on the piece of paper. It was a stray dog and the way it ate it could of passed as a goat. Maybe it was a goat. Anyway, since it was stray all the members didn't want to touch its dirty, black fur which was sure to have disease.

"Eeeww. I ain't touching that...thing." snorted Suho. He was a very clean person who didn't like to risk things.

"You are the leader so you have to! For EXO remember!" pleaded Xiumin.

"You are the oldest!" refused Suho.

"Yeah! The oldest is telling you to get the sheet back! You can't refuse me!" mocked Xiumin.

"Hmmmm, arghhhh. Fine you shint," concluded Suho, "Here little...little...doggy thing. I just want that thing you have in your mouth. Can I have it?" pleaded Suho.

The thing growled. They took it as a no.

"Chen, give me your food! Now!"

"But..."

"Give it!"

"Fine."

"See, I will exchange this food for that sheet of paper!"

The thing stopped growling, dropped the paper and started panting happily. Suho threw the food and grabbed the piece of paper and the four idiots ran away.

"You do realise you gave it chocolate," added Chen. "You gave it my chocolate."

"So?" beamed Suho, "Whats wrong with that?"

"Chocolate is poisonous to dogs," explained Lay.

"Who said that it was a dog? Anyway, let me read it. Ew, its wet. Never mind! Here you go Xiumin! You read it!" cheered Suho.

"WHAT?! No flipping way am I touching that!" refused Xiumin.

"The LEADER is telling you so do it." pushed on Suho.

"Butt. Ew ew ew ew ew. Umm. Ahh. Search around our city to find more clues! Lets just hope the others help you!"

"What?"

"Search around our city to find more clues! Lets just hope the others help you! So the other members have to come to Yangsan? They are in Yangsan! We need to tell them quickly!"

The thing is, the other group had a totally different idea of what to do.

 

"Congrats congrats you are in the right place. As for your friends tell them the truth to stop their chase," repeated Sehun, over and over and over again.

"I think we should just tell them to come to Busan," suggested Jongin.

"Thats the thing, if we get it wrong then we will have wasted a journey AND somewhere to stay. We have no time to waste," stressed Baekhyun.

"Baekhyun, stop biting me," Sehun said flatly, "Now is not the time."

"Your the one that leaves hickeys on me," huffed Baekhyun crossly, moving away from Sehun. Chanyeol just stared...with no emotion. 

"What does he mean hickeys? How? How come I never see them? Maybe they are recent ones." wondered Chanyeol, keeping his thoughts inside his head.

"Congrats congrats you are in the right place. You are in the right place. Right place. Are they talking about THE fountain was the right place or..." started Jongin.

"Or the city?! Are they talking about Busan being the right place?!" finnished satan.

"OMG THATS IT! Satansoo, you aren't that stupid." praised Sehun, "We need to tell them to come to Busan! Then it will stop their endless circle around Yangsan!"

"Okeee, I'm going to text them. Hang on. Look!" exclaimed Baekhyun, "They are telling US to go to Yangsan?!"

*EXODUS*

mothersuho: have you had any luck?

#slay: you guys have to come to Yangsan!

666: what did your clue say?

baozi: Search around our city to find more clues! Lets just hope the others help you

chendino: I think they are saying that you need to come to Yangsan to help us.

#slay: They must be in Yangsan

real_pcy: Ours says

real_pcy: Congrats congrats you are in the right place. As for your friends tell them the truth to stop their chase

byunbyun: We think it means we need YOU to come to BUSAN. 

viviestlife: well they say that we need to go to each other

viviestlife: but in which city?

sexydancer: i think its Busan

real_pcy: okay, think it through guys

byunbyun: yeh

viviestlife: yehet

viviestlife: sorry

666: imma speak. if you guys interrupt imma kill you

666: here we go 

666: when ours says...you are in the right place we think it means that we are in the right CITY. The right place is Busan. Our second part says "Tell them the truth to stop their chase"

666: We think it means to tell you the TRUTH that BUSAN is the right place so it stops you from chasing around random clues in Yangsan

mothersuho: it makes sense 

mothersuho: then why does ours say for you guys to come to Yangsan to help us with clues?

viviestlife: it doesn't

baozi: ???

viviestlife: it doesn't DIRECTLY say it

sexydancer: it might be something else!

viviestlife: exactly.

#slay: but what?

viviestlife: come on hyungs

viviestlife: u can get this

chendino: ............................................?

chendino: i speak for all your hyungs

viviestlife: well, i think it means

viviestlife: when it says OUR city i think it means Busan

666: cause on our note it says you are in the right place. meaning Busan

viviestlife: yeah

viviestlife: so on YOUR note when it says "search our city" it means the bad ppls city, cause they wrote it

viviestlife: so then

viviestlife: WE will help YOUR own search by telling you to come to the correct city

666: rather than wonder around like loners in Yangsan

real_pcy: that is the mean way of saying it

#slay: so u guys are telling us to go to Busan?

byunbyun: yes, we are hyung

mothersuho: hm

chendino: well, we have nothing else to say against you guys

baozi: but u'd better be right

baozi: don't lie to ur hyungs

viviestlife: i hope we are not lying 

sexydancer: we are sure we are right

666: even if we are wrong, we might still have time to go back to Yangsan

mothersuho: so you are saying NOT the cancel the hotel?

666: yeah

chendino: we are putting all our faith in you guys

baozi: don't be wrong

#slay: this isn't a joke

byunbyun: that riddle was not a fake

real_pcy: we generally believe you need to come to Busan

sexydancer: hyungs, we promise our hyungs we are not lying

mothersuho: okay

#slay: if you are wrong

baozi: we won't be happy

chendino: cause WE are the hyungs

byunbyun: okay okay

sexydancer: we'll greet you at Busan station okay?

666: we r not far so text us when you arrive

real_pcy: we will walk you home cause we haven't got a car yet

viviestlife: and we can't be bothered to 

mothersuho: see you soon

byunbyun: byeee

 

"You said it far Kyungsoo!" puffed Suho. The Yangsan group had arrived and they had arrived at their hotel room.

"You are just un-fit," replied Satan heavily.

"Where do we sleep?" worried Minseok.

"Me and Yeollie's room has a spare bed cause we share a bed. You and Jongdae can sleep there," suggested Baekhyun, "You guys do sleep together right?"

"Of course! If we all sleep together then why did we order double the amount of beds?" asked Minseok.

"We didn't want to look gay to the hotel people." answered Lay, "What about you and Jongin D.O?"

"We share a bed too, but Sehun sleeps on his own," smirked Kyungsoo.

"Someone times I sleep on my own with Mongguu if Kyungsoo is in a bad mood," confirmed Jongin.

"So there is a spare bed right? Suho can sleep there and I will sleep on the sofa!" smiled Lay.

"You don't sleep together?" teased Chanyeol.

"Nope, not yet. We are a very new couple," Suho said confidently, "I don't mind sleeping on the sofa."

"I don't want to share a room with Satan, so its fine," reassured Lay.

Satan stared at Lay with hate, but then went back to normal when Jongin elbowed him in the ribs gently, telling him to stop scaring his hyung and to be nice since Lay was nice to him, even though Lay was scared of D.O.

"Well, I'm going to unpack now, by the way Chanyeol, Baekhyun, me and Chen are clean freaks so we will always keep our room clean! Oh my god this hotel room is WAY less complicated that the other one!!!"

"Yeah, we will keep the room tidy," echoed Chen.

Xiumin and Chen enter Baekhyun and Chanyeol's room and screamed.

"HOW MESSY CAN YOU GET A ROOM?!"

 

They had all finished unpacking and tidying their rooms when they finally decided to set off, looking for new clues and sheets of paper. They had decided to split into their original to make it easier to search the whole city without too much hassle and the maknaes when one way, while the hyungs went the other. 

The real search had started

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yayay! i have got to point i have been aiming for   
> if i squished the chapters together this bit would of been in chapter 7 or 8 but I didn't want to have long chapters cause I find it hard to read REALLY long chapters
> 
> anyway, enjoy and i am STILL deciding whether i should do my 4th fic a script like the first one  
> check out my other fics ;)))))
> 
> I will try finish my two UN finished ones first cause writing two at the same time is hard
> 
> i also don't know how to end my other BTS one. check it out ;))))))  
> thx for the support and wait for my next chapters :)


	12. 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They search around the city hoping to find more clues.  
> Sehun finally got his bubble tea and Baekhyun got hoed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey  
> how u been  
> i've been good  
> great  
> hope u have a nice day  
> anhyoung

"Bruh. Why would you do that?" Chanyeol spoke suddenly. Kai hadn't noticed he had stepped in a huge puddle and splashing Chanyeol.  
He had ruined his new shoes, but he had also ruined Chanyeol's new shoes too.

"Oh hyung I'm so sorry! I'll get you a new pare! I promise," assured Kai, "You see, when you walk a dog like Mongguu you have to follow where he goes." 

"Hphmfff," snorted Sehun, "Lucky you."

"Mate, don't bring in the attitude," begged Baekhyun who was wrapped in his winter coat and trudging along Chanyeol quietly. It was raining and the rain wasn't getting any better. 

"Shut up, I'm on the phone you twats," hissed satan.

"Yeah, yeah, no, yeah, uh huh, hm, no, hell no, shut up, yeah," Kyungsoo repeated over and over again. The members where wondering who he was calling. He finally got off the phone and said, "Bitches, Suho said to cancel the search for now and to start again when the rain has gone down."

"So we can go home?!" smiled Baekhyun who was obviously waiting to go home.

"Yeah," replied satan with a smirk.

"YEOLLIE LETS GO HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" shouted Baekhyun, other people where starting to stare at them.

"Okay, okay. Quiet Byunee, we don't want any un-anted attention," laughed Chanyeol quietly.

"Ohhh, me and Mongguu just started walking! He hasn't been out for 3 days, he needs more than just 30 mins," moaned Kai.

"Well, I am NOT coming with you," Satan said coldly.

"I will," offered Sehun.

"YAY!" cheered Kai.

"Only if you get me bubble tea. You pay," pushed Sehun.

"Hmmmmm, fine," agreed Kai.

*EXODUS*

viviestlife: me and jongin will be a bit longer cause we need to walk mongguu

sexydancer: we will be back for dinner

mothersuho: any luck anyway?

real_pcy: nope, none at all

byunbyun: all there was was rain

byunbyun: rain

real_pcy: more rain

byunbyun: and more rain

666: how about you?

#slay: no luck at all

chendino: we had to stop at a cafe cause oldest hyung REALLY wanted coffee.

baozi: what?! it was a day necessary for coffee!

#slay: then you went up to the counter and had a coffee convo with the man at the till

chendino: you talked for half an hour

chendino: about coffee

baozi: what?! i just really wanted to learn some more about coffee!

real_pcy: anyway, whats for dinner

mothersuho: i cbb to cook.

#slay: i can't either

666: i don't want to

mothersuho: so no one is cooking

mothersuho: well, your apartment has a kitchen unlike our Yangsan one so we should use it!

real_pcy: we only fund it yesterday. there was a sign on the door remember?

byunbyun: do not enter

#slay: yeah, who put that there?

baozi: probably crazy previous ppl who stayed here

666: just ask Sehun and Jonginee to get something 

666: take-away?

baozi: yeah!

baozi: i feel for Chinese food

byunbyun: me too

#slay: yayayayayayay. me always in the mood for Chinese

mothersuho: we could ask them to get Jjajangmyeon

#slay: u mean ja jiang mian. How u say it in china

666: KIM JONGIN

666: KIM

666: JONG

666: IN

sexydancer: WAHT

666: get 9 Jjajangmyeon 

666: we cbb to cook or eat out

sexydancer: from where?

666: place down the road, that take-away chinese place

666: big, always full of customers

sexydancer: okay

mothersuho: what r u doing

viviestlife: getting my BUBBLE TEA!!!! MWHAHAHAHAHA

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY its so short  
> cbb to write
> 
> no one is bothered today  
> haha


	13. 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yoyoyoyo  
> need to update dis  
> yo  
> bye

"Bitches look what I got!" shouted Chen with delight, waving a peice of paper. 

"Omg you actually got it?!" yelped Xuimin who was very excited to have Chen as his boyfriend.

"What does it say?" Lay said in a rushed tone.

"So close yet so far away, your friendships have never gone your way," Chen read aloud.

"Are they talking about Luhan, Kris and Tao," Suho said slowly.

"Yes I thinks so. Only thing is, this is not a clue."

"Maybe just a reminder that we are looking for them," suggested Xuimin.

"Lets go back now, I need to speak to Sehun," Suho interupted.

 

"Hey hey hey! I've got one!!!" erupted Kai excitedly.

"Read it out Jongin-ah," Satan said blankly.

"Reflections through mirrors, yet mirrors are not the only reflectors. Houses and mansions , yet our one is the only one like it," Kai said, voice getting quieter and quieter.

"Oh," Sehun said.

"P.S. Vivi is fine by the way Sehun," Kai said happily.

"Good. If they hurt him I will kill them," Sehun said feircly.

"What does mirrors have anhthing to do with houses and mansions," Chanyeol complained.

"Maybe is has something to do with a mirror house," Baekhyun snapped.

"Sorry Baekie," Chanyeol lowered his head.

"Mirror houses. It also says other things reflect. Tin? Metal?" Satan thought.

"Glass? Glass!! A glass house or mansion," Kai said jumping up and down. Mongguu barling happily eventhough he had no idea what was happening.

*EXO-DUS*

sexydancer: we know where they live!!

666: they live in a glass house.

#slay: really? Cool!!!!

mothersuho: i just checked and said there are quite a few glass mansions in Busan.

baozi: our clue said stuff about Luhan, Kris and Tao being so near yet so far.

real_pcy: then it must be the closest mansion to us

byunbyun: or the most farthest away.

viviestlife: its the one farthest away.

chendino: why

viviestlife: closest cause they r friends and in our contacts

viviestlife: farthest cause they are really quite far away

666: so the one farthest.

real_pcy: oh. okay then

byunbyun: suho how far away

mothersuho: 40 mins

sexydancer: not far at all

666: how do u have its address and how do u know how far it is

mothersuho: cause...cause

vivestlife: mum?

mothersuho: cause its Kris's house

mothersuho: he gave me the address

baozi: the duxk

chendino: um

baozi: the fuck

chendino: ohhh

baozi: they are holding them hostage in Kris's house?

chendino: thats what u call bitchyness

mothersuho: bitches get home and then we set off

real_pcy: coming home now

byunbyun: ah you must come back

real_pcy: ah you must come back

byunbyun: ah you must come back

real_pcy: home

byunbyun: BTS LOL

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHAHAHAHHA
> 
> just bts thing  
> lols  
> s  
> jakdb  
> jdjskskdkds  
> 计算机就是觉得那些那些  
> 就是觉得几点到就觉得  
> it has no meaning so dont worry


	14. 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had inspiration from my friend JJ, my weird EXO dream two nights ago.
> 
> it was WEIRD, so dis is an extra chapter. i can only do it my text cause it is easier.

mothersuho: OMG GUYS, WHY HAS BAEKHYUN GOT A DEAD CHICKEN.

byunbyun: cause im gonna make jongin chicken wings

real_pcy: wtf, i thought u went to the shops to get a goose?

byunbyun: then i saw the chicken

sexydancer: omfg thank u hyung

666: why did baekhyun cross the road

sexydancer: cause he was the chicken and wanted to get to the other side.

mothersuho: OMG

666: what now, found kris?

mothersuho: we r doing that tomoz so no

mothersuho: XUIMIN IS GIVING JONGDAE A TATOO

666: wtf

sexydancer: NO DUCKING WAY

real_pcy: omg, tatoo of what.

byunbyun: i just put the chicken in the oven

666: NO ONE CARES ABOUT THE CHICKEN ANYMORE, JUST THE TATOO

sexydancer: WE ARE BREAKING UP

666: GO EAT THE OVEN

sexydancer: GO EAT SATAN

mothersuho: GO EAT JONGDAE'S TATOO

sexydancer: we r still bf right

666: duh

byunbyum: i burnt the chicken

baozi: do u like jongdae's tatoo?

chendino: its of me on the bottom half of a dino :)

baozi: it took me hours 

baozi: he wanted me to make his face attractive

baozi: thats what took the most time

666: HAHAHAHAHA, I GEDDIT CAUSE HES FUGLY

chendino: WTF, I AM BEAYTIFUL

chendino: NO MATTER WHAT U SAY

baozi: we get the point

mothersuho: u cant have a tatoo

viviestlife: i just went to get a milkshake and i come back to this

sexydancer: what happened to bubble tea

viviestlife: i dont like bubble tea

byunbyun: i got another chicken!!

real_pcy: OMFG, U GOT ANOTHER CHICKEN. OMFG SEHUN DOSNT LIKE BUBBLE TEA?

viviestlife: OMFG JONGDAE GOT A TATOO

sexydancer: OMFG BAEKHYUN DONT U DARE BURN IT THIS TIME

mothersuho: OMFG STOP WITH THE OMFG'S

baozi: guys, i just got arrested.

baozi: i stole a turkey

baozi: and i also kissed a girl

baozi: AND I LIKED IT

baozi: she called the police

baozi: couldnt handle the sexyness

chendino: OMFG U WHAT, I DONT CARE IF U GOT ARRESTED

chendino: U CHEATED ON ME

baozi: no, i just wanted to kiss a girl, she was the closest to me

mothersuho: u dont go around kissing girls

viviestlife: someone gave me a free tub of bubble tea

viviestlife: and i dont know what to do with it

chendino: fuck off

baozi: GT ME OUT OF PRISON

byunbyun: i burnt the chickn

sexydancer: fuck u

mothersuho: i just spent 100,000 pounds getting u out

mothersuho: i was saving that for Red Velvet concert

666: did u get smacked

666: slapped even, by the girl

baozi: no, but i got slapped by jongdae just now

666: the girl, i was talking about jongdae

baozi: oh, i thought u were talking about the girl i kissed on the street

666: u have kissed Jongdae

chendino: guys, my tatoo is gone

chendino: i thinks someone stole it

real_pcy: you cant steal a tatoo

chendino: ummm, then where is it?

byunbyun: okay, i got a GOOSE now

byunbyun: chen, u probally ate it

chendino: i dont eat ink

baozi: good to know

viviestlife: another person gave me free bubble tea, AND I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH IT?!

sexydancer: give it to Luhan when we find him, he likes bubble tea right?

viviestlife: yh, BUT HE ISNT HERE RIGHT NOW, WHAT DO I DO WITH THE BUBBLE TEA?

real_pcy: for fucks sake, just DRINK IT

666: i just saw a duck

666: and it was sick

666: so i left it

sexydancer: we REALLY needed to know that

viviestlife: ivf puuut ir im ghe frihfe.

mothersuho: errrrrrrrr....

sexydancer: i think it means, ive put it in the fridge

viviestlife: thats what i meant

byunbyun: okay, turned out the goose was ALIVE so it kinda messed up the kitchen

666: no, its cause u cant cook

baozi: guys, IM IN PRISON AGAIN. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

mothersuho: wtf?! AGAN

chendino: U STOLE MY TATOO, THATS WHY

baozi: NO, CAUSE I BROUGHT A KNIFE IN A SHOP AND TOOK THE PACKET OF, THEY THOUGHT I WAS A SERIAL KILLER

mothersuho: WHY THE UCKING FLUCKING DID U BUY A KNIFE?!

baozi: to kill baekhyun's goose with it

chendino: i found my tatoo!!!

baozi: ?

chendino: turned out it was still there, just got covered by my sleeve！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

byunbyun: thanks for the help, but, i already killed it

real_pcy: no, it killed itself

real_pcy: it bumped into the fridge, and died

viviestlife: DID IT HARM MY BUBBLE TEA?!

byunbyun: no, but it harmed the fridge?!

viviestlife: SHIT

viviestlife: so there is no more space in the fridge?

byunbyun: no, cause there is no fridge, its broken, catch on

viviestlife: oops, thats bad, just got given 3 more tubs of bubble tea, and i tried some

viviestlife: and it wasnt chocolate flavored.

mothersuho: i bought another one

mothersuho: but i dont thinks it could hold all ur bubble tea AND our normal fridge food

sexydancer: a, chen u idiot. b, do u put ramen in the fridge? c, baekhyun, check if its MOVING or not next time

byunbyun: will do

666: i dont think u HAVE to put ramen in the fridge

sexydancer: good, cause like, our ramen takes up half our fridge. well, what used to be our fridge

baozi: is NO ONE gonna get me out of prison?

chendino: how long r u in for?

baozi: 4 fricking days

mothersuho: a bit excessive dont ya think

baozi: IKR!!!!! but they said no, 4 days

mothersuho: how much to get u out?

baozi: dunno, gonna have to get here to find out

baozi: we r finding kris and ppl tomoz so i need to get out

viviestlife: AND MY VIVI U BITCH, AND MY VIVI

real_pcy: guys, errr, the goose made a secret nest behind our oven in the kitchen 

real_pcy: and they have hatched

real_pcy: and baekhyun wants to eat them

sexydancer: WTF NO WAY. GET THEM IN A FRICKING TOWEL. AND DONT LET BAEKHYUN ANYWHERE NEAR THEM

byunbyun: while their still fresh

#slay: wtf have i missed, i just saw a butcher chasing a chicken with a knife

#slay: um, baekhyung. plz dont kill the birds

real_pcy: only serial killers say that baekhyun

baozi: YES, IT SHOULD BE BAEKHYUN IN PRISON

byunbyun: fine, i wont kill them

real_pcy: i fed them some goose that baekhyun made, he hasnt cooked it yet

(then i woke up, i will folllow the story in the ff so it wont seem like a random chapter, so bare with plz, thanks)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hints: leave kudos and comments ;)


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> editing this one instead  
> mwhahahahaha  
> sorry  
> check out my other fics

"Hurry up bitches, I've been waiting for you guys for an hour," satan snapped, he had gotten ready 1 hour before and Suho was STILL not ready.

"We never told you to get ready so early!" Suho snapped back.

"Suho, this is ridiculous, we are gonna leave without you," Xiumin moaned. They where all ready to leave to find Kris's house in Busan. (No one knew why he chose Busan because Seoul was better, but, never mind). 

"Okay, I'm ready!" Suho cheered,

"Wait," Kai started, "I need to loo."

"JONGIN YOU BITCH, HURRY UP BEFORE I KILL YOU!" yelled satan through the door.

"The more you piss me off, the longer I will take to piss," Jongin yelled through the door, back at satan.

"YAH!"

Jongin finally finished and pulled a funny face at Satan who was sitting on the floor, avoiding Mongguu's licks and kisses.

"Mongguu, you can stop now, please, Mongguu, stop," Satan complained to the dog.

"Mongguu, here boy!" Jongin whistled and Mongguu went off Satan in a flash.

"Can...we...GO?!" Xiumin waved his arms in the air and then crossing his arms. The hyung was annoyed.

They left the house, making sure all windows and door were locked, then proceeded to the hired car, Xiumin in the drivers seat.

"Can you drive hyung?" Chen asked worriedly.

"Sure!" Sure enough Xiumin COULD drive and casually drived while being yelled directions but Suho. Left, right, strait, turn. Everyone else in the car were doing their own thing, Baekhyung and Chanyeol were playing and doing karaoke together. Jongin and Sehun where occupied with Mongguu and Sehun telling Jongin how excited he was to see Vivi again. Satan was looking out the window with boredom while listening to music...probably Chogiwa...

Chen, Suho and Lay were casually talking about OT12 while Xiumin concentrated with driving. The traffic was good and slipped pass 2 red lights. Xiumin was frustrated he had to take 3 U turns in the middle of the road due to Suho's terrible direction giving and always telling Xiumin to turn late.

"Will you concentrate?!" Xiumin was getting fed up.

"We are 10 minutes away, just bare with hyung," Suho was sure they were going to right way.

"Hyung, we are in the middle of nowhere!" Baekhyun had stopped playing with Chanyeol because Chanyeol was sleepy and had fallen asleep on Baekhyun's shoulder. 

"Hmmm, well, we can always turn back if worst comes to worst," Suho pipped happily.

"Worst is that we get stuck,stranded for the night and get found by a pack of wolves and they eat us," Satan deadpanned.

"Or they start singing Chogi..."

"Don't," Chanyeol mumbled in his sleep.

"I could always text the people for direction!" Suho took out his phone and switched it on.

"Yeah, they are totally gonna tell us where they are hiding," Xiumin looked at Suho and blinked twice. Suho had NO idea what he ment by it and just said a simple, "Fine," before putting his phone away.

"Hang on," Baekhyun looked out the window, there was an oddly shaped tree and a sign post saying which way Busan central was.

"I know this place!" Baekhyun screamed, making Chanyeol wake up and bang his head into the window.

"Aish, Baekhyunie!!!"

"Sorry. I know which way to go!"

"How do you know?" Suho asked.

"Kris took me here before, said he wanted to show me it," Baekhyun explained, "Minseok hyung,, take the next right, then go straight and take the second left."

"Okay then," Xiumin tuned and turned again.

"Hmmm, let me remember, oh yeah! Now cross that bridge."

Xiumin stopped the car and everyone jolted forward.

"WHAT?" Chen roared, "That bridge looks at least 20 years old! A car would never be able to cross."

"The we walk, get out the car Yeollie."

Chanyeol got out the car and then was followed by Baekhyun.

"Trust me, a hoe does have brains," Baekhyun started walking with Chanyeol who was signalling for them to get out the car, they all got out the car and Mongguu clung onto Sehun. Jongin was busy avoiding the mud patches.

"Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew," Jongin muttered.

"Stop being a baby, its just mud," Sehun triggered.

"Do you know HOW much these jeans cost? No, you don't so stop abusing me."

They followed Baekhyun who led the into the woods, everyone was unsure and scared.

"Uh, Baekhyung...this is REALLY reminding me of the Human Centipede. 

"URGH, don't even TALK to me about the HUMAN CENTIPEDE. ITS DISGUSTING." gagged Lay who was walking with all body parts covered.

"Calm down, he said he wanted a quiet area, just through there."

They walked for another 5 minutes before Baekhyun stopped at a circular clearing and in the middle was a glass house, most of the lights out.

"Here was are" Baekhyun pointed at the house. Everyone was shocked and amazed by Baekhyun's skill in navigation and how spectacular the house was. The house was very modern and nearer to the mansion size than any "normal sized house".

They had arrived.


	16. 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello  
> *sighs*
> 
> i am in a sad mood  
> cause i dont know what to write  
> excus my bad writing  
> and spelling  
> *sighs*  
> nvm

"Da fuck is this?" Lay asked lowering his puffy coat hood from his head. His words spoke for all of them...except for Baekhyun.

"What do you mean, this is Kris's house!" Baekhyun was pointing both hands at the house mansion thing. He saw nothing weird or wrong with it like the others, well, he didn't find killing chicks weird either...

"Oh shit, I ain't knocking on the door!" Jongin ran behind satan who was standing where he was standing, not bothered anymore. He only needed 2 glances and he was done observing.

"He stepped, on my foot Kim Jongin. You are paying for new shoes," Satan stepped forward a few more meters away from Kai so he could shake the mud from his shoes.

"Aish, now is not the time for complaining about shoes Kyungsoo, now is the time to save slash rescue slash beat the living shit out of those fucking Chinese boys that left our fucking group who we have to fucking save for our fucking benifits," Suho trudged forward dragging a very scared Jongin who wouldn't move on his own.

"Also my Vivi," Sehun pushed Jongin forward, helping Suho a bit .

"No one frucking cares about Vivi Sehun," Satan joked and started running, he knew he was going to get beat up now.

"Bitch you said whaaaaaaaa????" Sehun chased Satan around the clearing until Sehin grabbed onto Satan and punched his arm hard, "Fuck you."

"Fuck you very muuuuuuuuchhh, cause i hate you and I hate your whole so please don't stay in touch," Baekhyun hummed the whole way to the house.

"What Baekhyun says to his one night stand sugar daddies," Satan burned again, trying not to laugh. Maybe Kyungsoo was trying to lighten the mood, maybe he was trying to make people laugh.

Or maybe...

He was being a insult ass at this very moment.

"Can you shut up?" Not surprisingly, Chanyeol made for Satan who was asking for another punch on the arm which Chanyeol would happily give him.

"Excuse me but I won't shut up cause I am speaking the truth. Mwahahahahaha," Satan laughed whole running like a penguin away from Chanyeol.

Waddle waddle waddle.

"Stop it, I can't take this anymore. Chanyeol leave Kyungsoo alone and Kyungsoo, just shut up," Xiumin looked at them with annoyance and they both got what they were told to do.

"Yes hyung," Chanyeol and Kyungsoo both stopped and walked to the house, some pushing and shoving every and then. They walked the last few meters in silence while Baekhyun was still humming, "Fuck you, fuck you very muuuucch," quietly to himself. They reached the door and Suho knocked on the door three times. The door opened and in the doorway.

Was a man. A man in black. A masked man. A tall man.

A tall man holding a dog. It was Vivi.

"VIVI!!!!" Sehun shouted running forward but being held back by Xiumin. As soon as Vivi saw his owner he tried very hard to get out the grasp of the masked man, but he was too strong. Vivi tried biting and growling but he still wouldn't let go.

"Ahhh, EXO, we have been expecting you. Baekhyun, very glad you remembered the way. If you want Vivi, come inside. Its perfectly safe," the man invited them in and all of EXO looked at eachother before Suho led them inside. It was definitely the way Baekhyun remembered it,.neat and tidy , shoe rack on right, coat hanger on left. Stairs at the end, two rooms at the side. 

The mans Korean had a faint accent but they brushed it off, what was important was to get back what they came for. 

Their friends.

Their family.

The man locked the door and put the keys in his trouser pockets. He rubbed his chin as if he was considering something. He shrugged and dropped Vivi gently onto the floor and rubbed his hands.

"There you go," the man said in English. English? They didn't have time to think about it before the cries and shouted from Sehun erupted and the happy yaps and barks came from his white fured dog. 

"Oh Vivi, are you okay?? VIVI YOUR BACK WITH SEHUN!!!!!" Then Sehun looked up at the man, "Did you hurt him? If you have harmed him I swear to god I will kill you."

"I...WE...wait...can you shut them up?" The man pointed at Mongguu and Vivi chasing each other and playing together.

"Mongguu, down. You too Vivi." Jongin knelt down next to Mongguu to quiet him down, and then held his finger to his lips to show Vivi to be silent.

"Carry on," Sehun ordered the man.

"We took good care of him. We had fun together, especially with Luhan. Shit, I wasn't meant to say that."

"Luhan? Where are they? Where have you kept them? WHERES KRIS YOU FUCK???" Suho stepped forward and shoved the man backwards.

"Whaaaaooooo, Suho...I don't think its wise of you to call me a fuck. If you want to find Kris, then look. Look around. Look harder. Then we'll see who's the fuck."

"So we can openly search?" Chen asked confused. This seemed too easy for him. Way to easy.

"Well, if you don't WANT to then you can leave," the man made way to the door.

"No! We'll search, we'll search!" Chen rushed and pulled Xiumin with him down the corridor. Suddenly, two other men appeared, coming down the stairs. Chen screamed and slapped the man closest to him. 

"Fuck! What you do that for????" said the man. These two where NOT masked. There faces clear and stunned. 

"Luhan??????" Chen stepped forward looking closely at his face.

Luhan laughed nervously and glanced at the masked man who sighed with disappointment and took off his mask.

Behind the mask was another familiar face.

Oh shit.

"KRIS??!!!!!" Suho grabbed onto his arm and he too laughed nerously.

"Aha, er, well, I guess you've found us!?"

 

"FUCKING HELL YOU MOTHER FUCKERS!" Suho slapped Kris on the cheek, Xiumin slapped Luhan again. Chen looked at the third face down the hallway and his face fell.

"Tao, great. Heres a slap for you too," Chen tried slapping Tao on the cheek but Tao dodged it, he held Chen's hand and laughed. Chen then brought up his other hand and slapped Tao with that hand.

"You three shit fuck bitch fuck shit heads," Xiumin went up to all the of them one by one and giving them all another slap. All hard and painful slaps.

"Ow, I'm sorry hyung! Have mercy!" Luhan cowered in front of his hyung, holding his cheek.

"BITCHES. IT WAS YOU THREE ALL ALONG?! I FUCKING WANT TO KILL YOU RIGHT NOW. YOU LITERALLY RUINED MY WHOLE HOLIDAY. I WAS PLANNING TO KICK SOME KIDNAPPERS BUTTS WHEN I GOT HERE BUT I CAN'T NOW CAUSE I DON'T WANT TO KICK YOUR BUTTS. YOU THREE ARE REAL SHITS YOU KNOW. I AM VERY VERY VERY ANGRY ABOUT THIS. YOU THINK IT WAS A JOKE???? WHAT THE FUCK DID WE DO TO YOU? IT WAS YOUR CHOICE AND I AM NEVER GONNA FORGIVE YOU!" Xiumin yelled at all three of them.

It was scary due to his height and all the swearing. A short hying swearing and telling off some people.

"Sorry hyung," the three chorussed.

Seems like sorry wasn't enough this time.


	17. 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they have met and some bit of explaining and arguing and more slapping  
> on the cheek  
> cause they r so angry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am warning you
> 
> serious Hunhan and Suris coming up

"YOU GUYS ARE SUCH...SUCH...BITCHES!" Suho yelled while sitting on the sofa. EXO on one sofa, the three chinese boys on the opposite one. The whole of EXO where sitting awkwardly with Sehun and Jongin sitting next to each other, trying to control the dogs excitement. Suho and Xiumin were in the middle, they were the main two that yelled and told off the three past members for what they did.

"Oh my, Suho please calm down!!" Kris pleaded at Suho who was puffing with anger. He was angry yet head over heals in love with Kris...he didn't want Kris yet he WANTED Kris. He was so confused he didn't know what to say, what to do anymore.

"Kris...why did you do it? Why the fuck did you do it? Why would you do it?" Suho couldn't shout anymore, he was too upset, too angry, to in love. He was doing perfectly fine without Kris, he was going great with Lay. Why did Kris have to come back? Why did Kris have to break Suho again.

"You guys, you guys just got what you wanted so we just wanted revenge," Kris tried to hide the truth behind it all but it wasn't enough to blind the hyung. It blinded EXO with hate and anger but it would never blind the hyung.

"Thats not the truth is it?" Xiumin asked carefully, looking Kris in the eye, waiting for an answer good enough to answer the question. Xiumin wouldn't stop till he got the real answer so he waited, and waited.

"No," EXO's eyes darted from Kris to Tao. Tao had spoken, he wanted to end this, he just wanted to enjoy his time with EXO again. He didn't want to argue, he just wanted to have fun.

"So what is the real reason you guys did it Tao?" Xiumin kept on looking at Tao, still waiting for the answer.

"We...we..." Tao looked at Kris who nodded his head, then at Luhan who also nodded his head. They both agreed, it was time the youngest spoke.

"We just wanted an excuse to see you guys again. We have missed you and seeing you guys do so well without us pained us in a way. We never wanted to hurt you, we never wanted to harm you. All we wanted was to meet you again. Thats why we created this, all the lies, all the stupid talk, just to see you again. Yeah, I agree it was selfish, yes, I agree it was stupid and cruel and mean but hey, I bet you missed us. Right??" Tao finished standing up and walking to Suho and knelt down, able to level his face with his, "Right?"

Suho didn't want to give in but he did. He missed them until his heart hurt. He missed them till he wanted to break SM till they have nothing but to let them in again; but that would be stupid; they left because they wanted a solo life, it was SMs fault in a way. EXO watched them getting worse treatment then them because they were Chinese. All the Chinese members got bad treatment, they were all forced to work harder. Learn Korean for EXO yet the Korean members didn't need to learn Manderin. Suho was sorry for everything. All Suho wanted was to keep EXO happy, safe. But that didn't happen.

So yes, Suho has missed them. Missed them a lot.

"Right?" Luhan came up behind Tao and then moved to the other side of the sofa, towards his real love. Towards a broken heart which he wanted to fix, "Right? Right Sehun?"

"Yeah. Okay, fine, I have. You have to know though Luhan, things won't be the same, things won't be all perfect cause Luhan, you broke me," Sehun looked like he was on the verge on tears, holding Vivi who had no clue what was happening.

"Is that a yes?" Luhan just wanted to kiss Sehun, a big sorry kiss but he knew Sehun wouldn't allow that to happen. He knew Sehun wanted to forget about Luhan but Luhan wasn't allowing THAT.

"Oh my fucking god YES!" Sehun let go of Vivi and pulled Luhan into a tight hug, crying into his shoulder. Luhan smiled behind Sehun and stoked Sehun's soft hair. Everyone stared except for Suho who kept his eye kn Tao. His child was back yet he didn't know what to do. This was like a child and mother re union yet he didnt want it to be.

"Suho? You have missed be right?" Tao asked again. More nevous now, he wanted the answer to be anything but no.

"Tao...Tao...I've missed you so much i wanted to go find you," Suho then stood up followed by Tao. They stared at each other and then smiled. Suho missed Taos smile and Tao missed his mother's smile. That was all Tao wanted for now so he walked over to every member and hugged them. He finally reached Baekhyun and looked over to Chanyeol.

"Has he been a hoe?" Tao laughed.

"Oh yes. He has been a hoe and it hurts," Chanyeol laughed again hugging Tao, then he let go and he poked Baekhyun who was crying.

"Baekhyun, don't cry. If you cry them I'll cry!!" Tao felt like crying and before he did, hugged Baekhyun close and he just stayed there. 

 

Kris walked up to Suho smoothly. Suho stood still until Kris reached him. Suho had no words, no speech and no lecture. He just wanted Kris. Kris was about to say something but Suho reacted first. He grasped Kris and pulled him into a death hug. Kris just moaned but then grasped Suho in return.

Maybe this wouldn't turn out so bad. Maybe this might end quite well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bit about chinese members and SM is just a rumor   
> idk if it.is true to yeah  
> dont take it to heart  
> lol  
> not  
> things dont end.well  
> or do they  
> mhahah  
> find out soon


	18. 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> exo just talk about stuff  
> HunHan and Baektao coming up...also a bit of Taoyeol. is that a real ship, I created it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am writing and I just woke up  
> what trash

"This is where you sleep Sehun," Luhan showed Sehun...the floor. Beside where Luhan was pointing was a queen sized bed with silk sheets. 

"Oh wow, thanks Luhan hyung," Sehun says sarcastically while sitting on the floor, "I can't WAIT to sleep on a rock!!"

"Good! Cause its all you got for now...unless you wanna sleep with-"

"No," Sehun stopped Luhan from carrying on with the sentence and got up and made his way to the Luhan's phone which was charging on the bedside table, "You got any good songs?"

"Depends what you define as good," Sehun thought hard to remember Luhan's password, hoping it was the same from 3 years ago. He typed the numbers and bingo, he was rolling.

"Aha, seems like you hacked my phone again Sehun. Unless you remember it from before," Luhan was lying on his bed lazily looking at Sehun. From this angle Sehun was looking as good as ever. Tall, body shape on fire...even his side profile was amazing.

"From before," Sehun lied down next to Luhan and looked at him, "Put on what you define as good songs." Luhan immediately jumped off and picked up his iPhone. He set to work and a song started. Sehun just put on his frowny bitch face when the song came on.

"Blow it like fluuuuute, wooo wooo, show me what to dooooo," Luhan was laughing and turned it of an then switched it to another song. 

"I got that good good, I got that got that good good, I got that good good, I got that got that good good,"

"Hyung...please, these songs are just YOUR songs," Luhan laughed again and changed it.

"How about this?" A new song came on and Sehun punched Luhan playfully. 

"Shawty imma party till the sundown," Sehun turned it of and switched it onto a good Chanyeol trigger song...

"CHOGIWA"

 

"Baekhyun and Chanyeol, you guys sleep here and here, if you really squeeze up you might be able to sleep together," Tao opened the sofa bed and gee...it was small, "If you sleep together thats great cause then Jongin and Kyungsoo have a place to sleep. So far they are sleeping on the floor in Luhan's room along with Sehun who is also on the floor but I doubt that will last. You know cause Sehun will probally move to Luhan's bed and you know. Did you know Luhan's screen saver is a selfie of him and Sehun??!! I was so excited knowing that he misses him like me. I never really thought that~"

"Tao..."

"Yeah?"

"Your ranting again," Baekhyun tapped Tao on the shoulder and smiled, "Stop ranting."

"Sorry hyungs," Tao finished bringing out the first sofa bed. It was a grey sofa bed with grey legs and grey pillows. Then Tao brought over some grey sheets.

"Damn thats one grey grey sofa bed," Chanyeol sat down on the bed and sighed happily, "Baekhyunee, I think we can fit."

"Hehe, me too. Move over," Baekhyun shoved Chanyeol over lightly and sat down beside him. Then he lied down and sighed happily as well, "Its so comfortable Tao, thanks."

"No sex, I don't wanna sleep when someone is having sex in the same room as me. No sireee. Just...don't," Baekhyun ruffled his hair and winked at Chanyeol who slapped his thigh.

"Sure Tao, no sex. Got it. Anything else?" Chanyeol slapped Baekhyun every time he tried saying something because he knew it was going to be dirty.

"If you touch my Gucci you will thrown out the house okay? Literally, I will dress you up in Louisy B and throw you out the window," Chanyeol nodded and Baekhyun also nodded. That didn't seem hard, only that Tao had a room as tidy as a shed full of hay and sheep...his Gucci everywhere. 

"Can you tidy up?" Baekhyun asked nicely and Tao just said, "Sure" and took all his Gucci and hanged them on coat hanged in his wardrobe. 

They chatted until Kyungsoo and Kai came in saying they needed somewhere to sleep because Kyungsoo didn't want to stick with Hunhan shit fest. Tao just said they would have to put up with Chanbaek shit fest but Jongin said he would stay before Kyungsoo moaned again. Tao told them the rules and Kai didn't hear anything about a dog so took Mongguu and but him on their sofa bed.

"If he barks imma kill you," Tao stroked Mongguu which showed he wasn't going to hurt him, just Kai.

"COMING AT YOU AT SUPER SONIC SPEED!" Chanyeol was about to attempt Eminem but with Satan in the room, that wasn't going to happen.

"Shut up. My rule. No Chanyeol rapping," Kai hit Satan on the head and got a return hit on the head. 

Suddenly, a song boomed through the house.

"Seriously? Hes playing Lu?" Tao waved his arms and then waved again, "IS HE REALLY PLAYING GOOD GOOD??"

"WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING CHOGIWA??????" Chanyeol ran out the room the find and Chogi strangle someone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so short it hurts


	19. 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chogi strangled Sehun  
> More Hunhan  
> More Chanbaek  
> More Taobaek
> 
> just more shipness in general
> 
> then Chanyeol gets Gucci strangled by guess who.......................................................................
> 
> Tao

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lolz hwllo  
> someone please.telk.me.whats jappening worh bts
> 
> cause i.dont ahev yourube
> 
> my keynoard has so.may typos
> 
> i have to retype everything notmally on the dic and on simmary toit makes sense  
> im sorry for this keyboards  
> i need a new one  
> but it knesy pgone so howbdo tou xhange that

"Hi Chanyeol!!!" He burst into the room and made for Luhan. He dodged and Chanyeol looked like a crazed old granny who had lost her 64 cats.

"What are you DOING Chanyeol?" Sehun just watched and stared while Luhan was hoping over objects to get away from Park Crazed Lady. 

"Who put on Wolf? Cause I swear to Baekhyun's hoe sanity I will strangle them!" Chanyeol turned off the music and then there was silence. Luhan and Sehun randomly started laughing and wheezing like dying pigs who got stabbed my a laughing parrot.

"He did!" Sehun pointed at Luhan while walking out the door and closing it quietly, then they both heard stomping down the stairs and an open door closing.

"Sehun did it, I promise Park Chanyeol, listen to your hyung. If you hurt me...I'll report to Minseok!" Luhan also ran out the room and down the stairs until he got to the bottom floor and seemed like he bumped in something, "EW YOU GUYS, GET A ROOM!!" 

"Hhaha, now I must find Sehun!!" Chanyeol also ran out the room and started exploring the house. It was amazing and he did get lost occasionally in the corridors and endless amount of useless rooms but he got there eventually, after being tricked a few times.

Trick one.

"Hey Baekie, hey Tao and hey Satan and hey Jongin, is Sehun in this room??" All 4 of them looked and each other for a while and then they all giggled, except for Baekhyun, then Satan spoke.

"Oh no, we saw him run into the room Minseok and Jongdae hyung are staying in," Satan pointed up the stairs where Xiuchen was staying. They all laughed, except for Baekhyun, and Chanyeol just backed off and ran up the stairs, then he paused in front of the door and smiled.

"You shall now die Sehun," He stormed in and Oh Mother it was gross.

"FUCK! OH SHIT HYUNGS!" Chanyeol blocked his eyes from the horrible sights.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD PARK CHANYEOL GET OUT OF HERE NOW!!" Minseok covered his body and then Chen's head peeped out the door. 

"OH SHIT, WHY ARE YOU IN HERE? I just had a shower and I need to shower again cause I just peed myself, thanks Chaneyeol, thanks very much," Chen slammed the door shut and then the shower turned on again. 

"Out, now, out now!!" Xiumin pushed Chanyeol out and closed the door, then he heard laughing downstairs.

"Omg that was so funny!!" Satan was lying on the floor and rolling around, Tao inhaling a pillow and Jongin lying on the sofa coughing and laughing at the same time. Baekhyun didn't look impressed.

"Seriously? It wasn't that funny. How did you know Min hyung would be naked?" Baekhyun slapped Satan to sit up and talk to him.

"Cause thats what me and Jongin accidently did, only they were doing it."

"Oh god shut up Kyung. Tao is too young!!"Jongin blocked Tao's ears and smiled.

"YOUR younger!" Tao flipped round with skills and then was behind Kai, then HE just blocked his ears and Jongin just walked away and went out the door, looked up with sas and went down the stairs. Well, that didn't last for long as 10 seconds later he was back in the room lying on Tao's bed.

"Bitches!! Where actually is Sehun?" Chanyeol was getting the the fest of shit, #shitfest no.infinity.

Trick 2.

"Bitch he downstairs, trust me," Satan pushed him out the door and then closed it, leaving Chanyeol in the corridor. He went down and Oh Mother this was the most intercoursed day he had ever had.

"OH FUCK! WHAT ARE YOU DOING????!!!!" Chanyeol blocked his eyes again from the Suris folding in front of him. 

"Oh Chanyeol didn't Luhan tell you not to come in?? I told him to tell anyone who wanted to come in!!" Suho was standing up and pushing Chanyeol out the door, man why was everyone TOUCHING him. 

"No, he was in the kitchen stuffing himself with chocolate, I CAN NOW SEE WHY!!" Chanyeol received the last and final push, after that a wooden door slammed in front of his face, "Thooose...BITCHES!"

"Is he gone?" Sehun's head poked out the wardrobe while his hands were wrapped around the door. 

"No, hes having afternoon tea with us right now. YES, OF COURSE HES GONE!" Ah, Satan's sarcasm was actually really bad. Like, really bad. So bad it hurts. Just kidding.

"Phew!" Sehun walked out but then got pushed back in by Baekhyun, "Ow, the wardrobe is wood, not cushion."

"Yeollie will be back soon so keep hiding, I'll tell you when hes gone."

"Baekhyun, why does he get so sensitive about it? Its just Chogi-"

"Don't. He can feel the word. In here," Baekhyun jabbed Sehun's heart but Sehun got the wrong idea.

"His nipple?" He was so confudled. At least make it your heart or soul but why the nipple. Chogiwa has nothing to do with nipples!! 

"No you idiot! The heart,"Baekhyun poked Sehun's heart harder, "The heart!!"

"OW!"

"Shhh...hes coming up so don't say anything."

"Okay, I have seen a naked Minseok, half naked Kris and Suho having sex on the fucking salmon coloured sofa just to strangled a maknae. STOP LYING TO ME!!" Everyone in the room had cracked up now, even Sehun who was hiding behind rows of Gucci. 

"Fine, we'll tell you..."

Last trick.

"He's in the wardrobe," Jongin had a plan but no one knew what was going on. He wasn't a snitch so what was happening? Baekhyun squealed and Satan was actually shocked for once.

"Thanks Jongdae, Jongin," Jongin was so angry he got his named mixed up with a DINOSAUR.

"JONGDAE??? JONGDAE??? MAN I AIN'T A DAE I'M A IN," The door opened to Chen dressed in a hoodie and jeans, hair still wet.

"Yeah?"

"Go fuck Minseok," JongIN scowled and looked away.

"Happily."

Chanyeol opened the door of the wardrobe and starts digging through the clothes. Bad idea.

"ARE YOU TOUCHING MY GUCCI?? BITCH YOU TOUCHING MY GUCCI???" Tao got up and opened the window, Chanyeol running out the room while Jongin and Satan were wheezing and slapping eachother with laughter. 

30 kims later.

"Tao, I can't believe you actually tried throwing me out the window. I mean, Sehun was IN the wardrobe and you didn't strangle him!" Chanyeol rubbed his neck roughly while leaning against Baekhyun. Satan and Jongin had gone shopping with Kris and Suho, they had finished with their love making...eventually. 

"Sehun was an exception," Tao tapped Sehun on the shoulder because he was chatting away with Luhan who had joined them for a while. The door had a knock and entered a sweaty Zhang Yixing.

"Hey guys, what the latest gossip?" He was about to sit on the bed but was then stopped by Tao.

"If your gonna sit on the bed, shower. Bathroom over there cause I am not sleeping with Lay sweat everywhere."

"See ya then, I will be back," He left singing a Chinese song and then went into the bathroom.

"As I was saying, Sehun was an exception," Tao was prodding Sehun when he finally realised he was being called an exception.

"Yehet," Sehun laughed and Luhan smiled. If Satan was here he would say, "Stop trying to make Yehet happen, its not going to happen!"

"Well, at least I strangled Sehun, thats all that matters," Chanyeol smuggled closer to Baekhyun and closed his eyes. It was almost dinner time and they where hungry so they send Luhan to get snacks, then Lay came in.

With snacks.

They ate and ate until Luhan came in with arms supporting a pile of snacks. Then he saw the snacks already on the bed. 

"You have GOT to be joking. Do you know how HARD it is to fricking carry 15 snacks with just your arms??" Luhan dropped them also on the bed and sat down.

"No," Sehun was eating...and eating until he couldn't no more.

"You do realize Sehun, this is snack, not dinner," Tao was munching on who knows what when the front door opened.

"HEY, GET YOUR BUTTS IN THE DINING ROOM...WE GOT KFC!" Kris's voice boomed through the house and Baekhoe, Chaneyeol, Sebooty, Tao panda and Blow it like Luhan did a major shove of snacks under the bed, Zhang Yixing had slipped away from the clean up and was already down stairs. 

"We had do keep Jongin away, he actually BIT me!" Satan held out his arm with a human bite mark on his lower arm, "So thats why the KFC is full, not half eaten my him."

Everyone sat around the dining room and pulled 6 extra chairs around to fit everyone. Sehun and Chanyeol were stuffed so they didn't eat much, just some fries so their share of chicken got stolen by a Kim Jongin.

"Damn Jongin why you eating so much," Baekhyun shouldn't of asked, but he did anyway. 

"BECAUSE its something called CHICKEN and I love chicken. Chicken nuggets, fried chicken, cooked chicken, fetus chickens, barbecued chicken, chicken filled stuff and raw chicken," almost all of them spat out their food. RAW CHICKEN?!

"YOU EAT RAW CHICKENS??" Lay was shocked, I mean, wouldn't you?

"No, the animal. The animal is raw cause it isn't cooked!!" Jongin just ate happily while everyone was just dumbed. They knew Jongin's weird addiction with chicken but they didn't think it went to crazy level.

"The most disturbing thought is that you eat FETUS chickens!" Kris stared at Jongin with shock and kinda creepy looks. Fetus chickens??

"Yeah, NO. I don't eat them, I just like them," Jongin had finished and was getting ready to eat more but was stopped by Satan.

"You have had a whole bucket to yourself so if you want more go get it yourself," Jongin sulked but then got another conversation starter, just with Chanyeol.

"Hows the geese chicks doing?" Chanyeol looked up and Baekhyun looked away.

"I named them!!" He was getting ready to tell them the names of the chicks.

"How many??" Xiumin asked. He was over the naked meeting with Chanyeol but Chanyeol was still scared for life. 

"3, they are called...well the oldest is called While, second They're and youngest Fresh."

"So While They're Fresh. Isn't that what Baekhyun said on the group chat?"

"Yeah!!" Baekhyun scowled again and passed his plate to Jongin who happily took it. He too was stuffed on snacks. They ate until they couldn't no more again and then Tao, Kris and Suho cleaned up, once that chore was done they joined the rest of EXO lazing on the living room couch.

"Fuck I need to toilet," Jongin stood up and started walking around the house, "Is this it...no thats the kitchen. Maybe this? NO THATS A BEDROOM."

"Its last room on that corridor," Kris waved lazily at the last room and went back to sleep on Suho's shoulder. 

"Lets just sleep here tonight," Lay snuggled close to Suho as well, Kris seemed not to mind and Suho looked so comfy. They where all sleeping well when the door creaked open, this was now a horror movie. In came two monster shadows and then...barking???!

"MONGGUU GET OUT!"

"VIVI, OUT. PLAY WITH MONGPOO!"

"MONGGUU SHITHUN!"

"YEAH..MONGGUU!" 

The dogs left the room, then short thuds up the stairs then barking. Why couldn't they just sleep.

"Oh no...Oh no!!" Baekhyun started stressing out and Chanyeol was not actually bothered, he looked more frustrated then worried for his boyfriend.

"What? What?" Tao got up and looked around.

"He forgot his teddy. The one we got him in Japan, he sleeps with it everynight and props it every night by his pillow. Whenever we share a bed it creeps me out, and during our boo boo in Busan it scared the living shit out of me."

"Boo boo?"Chen asked and looked at Minseok, then he put his ear next to Minseok's mouth and listened close.

"I think...I think means what we did this afternoon Daedae," Xiumin was making as PG as possible but Chen doesn't get PG.

"Sex for gods sake Jongdae!" Satan groaned and sat up, bringing a sleepy Jongin with him.

"I need it!! Yeollie isn't enough," Baekhyun went to the front door dragging Chanyeol with him. Sehun and Luhan followed and Luhan offered to drive. Everyone else stayed at Kris's house, they agreed to meet in the morning. 

They arrived with bumps and then went strait to sleep with the Japanese teddy, Chanyeol complaining about it. He wasn't willing to share the teddy bear role with a...teddy bear.

"我不是比赛，我就是热爱." Luhan sang in his and Sehun's bed. 

"What is that??"

#I got that Good Good.

(Wo bu shi bi sai, wo jiu shi re ai.)

(I'm not about competition, I'm about [hot love??])

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not really a plotty chapter  
> just a bonding  
> and ceack
> 
> really.bad humore excuse me pleaee


	20. 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for no updates  
> So this will be short I'm just saying  
> Okay  
> Enjoy if u can

"BAEKHYUNNNIEEE!!!"

"What?!" Baekhyun rolled over and faced his puppy Chanyeol, "Yeollie what time is it?"

"I dunno?" Chanyeol jumped out of the sofa bed and jumped around.

"SHHHHHHH!!!!" Baekhyun pulled Chanyeol back down and pointed (quite menacingly) at Tao, Kai and Kyungsoo.

"Whaaaaaaaaaat!" Chanyeol whistper shouted.

"Do you want to wake up Kyungsoo?"

"YEEEAH!" 

"WHAT DRUGS DID U TAKE CHANYEOL?" Baekhyun got out of the blanket and flipped Chanyeol around and threw him out the door. Baekhyun followed and saw the corridor clock.

"YOU WOKE ME UP AT 2 IN THE MORNING?" Baekhyun actually yelled this time and Suho came running up the stairs.

"Children what's happened?" Sushi asked worriedly to see a hyper Chanyeol and a pissed off Baekhyun.

I mean...what isn't wrong.

"Yeollie woke me up at 2 in the morning because he was bored!" 

"But I AMMMM bored!"

"Play on your phone!"

"No children you shouldn't play with your phone at night, its bad for your eyesight"[says the one who is writing this chapter in pitch black at 11:15 at night] Suho pulls the couple down the stairs and turned on the light. It exposed an awake Kris watching TV.

"Yes?" Kris looked up and saw Suho holding Baekhyun in one hand an Chanyeol in the other.

"These two are sguabbling again!"

"They didn't sguabble when I was there!" Kris turned off the TV.

"Well... a lot has happened since you left Kris."

"Tell Kris, he was watching TV without the lights on!"

"Well I'm older so don't argue with me."

"Anyway, Chanyeol doesn't want to sleep, he's bored." Suho sat down next to Kris and layed back.

"What does he want to do?"

"I want to talk about skirts, go on roller coasters and I want to shake it up!" Chanyeol bounced up and down [if you don't get it then go listen to The War album] and smiled.

"I'm going to bed," Baekhyun walked up the stairs and then they heard a door close upstairs.

"Um no Chanyeol, we are not going on rollercoasters, I don't want to talk about skirts and depends what you want to shake up," Kris said and left the room.

"HEY where are you going?" Suho called after him and ran into the kitchen leaving Chanyeol in the living room.....

Alone.

"I want to do something," he smiled to himself and squealed. Maybe he could play with the dogs, "Nah they're not worth it, plus they might bite me to death."

"Kris what the floop??????????????" Suho yelled and Chanyeol turned around and ran into the kitchen.

"HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...omg...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Chanyeol laughed endlessly at the sight in front of him. Stomping of people were heard from the kitchen and the. Minseok flew into the room, followed by Baekhyun and Chen.

"CAN YOU SHU-! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!" Baekhyun and Chen started laughing as well while Minseok, Suho and Kris groaned.

"You know I'm not the best at drawing!" Kris was about the rip up the piece of paper but Chen got it first.

"What is meant to be?" Minseok asked sleepily.

"It's meant to be EXO!!" Kris tried snatching the paper but Chen was too fast for him, "JONGDAE COME BACK RIGHT NOW!" 

"WHAT. THE. FUCK. IS. GOING. ON!!!!" Luhan shouted down the stairs and was almost ran over by Chen being chased by Kris.

"HYUNG TAKE IT!" Chen threw the sheet of paper at Luhan who took one look at it and started laughing.

"Luhan hyung give it back!" Kris said while Luhan kept laughing.

"ENOUGH!" Minseok came up the stairs and held out his hand and stood in front of Luhan.

"Luhan."

"Hyung but..." Luhan stuttered.

"Nope."

"But-"

"Luhan...give it!" 

"Okay hyung, sorry hyung!" Luhan gave the sheet of paper to Minseok and then bowed his head down.

"There you go Kris. Now I'm going to sleep and if you wake me I will be the nasty hyung I am so be quiet," Minseok went back into his room and closed the door. Chen followed shortly. Everyone went back to their rooms except for Suho and Kris who went back down stairs.

"Baekie," Chanyeol said towards Baekhyun.

"Yeah?" 

"Are you still tired?"

"Yes and I'm going to bed."

Leaving Chanyeol in the hall way.

"URGH!" 

 

~Morning~

"Sup everyone! How was yal sleeps?" Sehun walked into the dining room and sat on Luhan's lap.

"Um it was great!" Chen lied.

"Aren't we going to tell him about-" Chanyeol started before being elbowed in the ribs by Baekhyun.

"Tell me what?"

"SUP BITCHES!!" Jongin ran into the room and ran into a chair.

"Tell me what?" Sehun kept pestering.

"Tell him what?" Jongin said after Sehun.

"Um, well we had a midnight chase around the house last night. And omg KRIS'S DRAWING WAS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SLASH UGLIEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN!!" Chen yelled while yell laughing. Not actually laughing to be honest.

"Shut up Chen!" Kris buried his head in his hands and let out a deep sigh.

"Shut up Kris!"

"Shut up Chen!"

"Shut up Suho!"

"Shut up Chen!"

"Shut up Sehun!"

"Shut up Kai!"

"Shut up Chanyeol!"

"Shut up Kyungsoo!"

"Shut up Baekhyun!"

"Shut up Chen!"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU BAGS OF HOE!" 

"Sorry Minseok hyung...-"

"Shut up Luhan!"

"Shut up Suho!"

"Shut up Chen!"

"SHUT UP!!"

"Shut u-"

"DA?!! SAY IT AGAIN I DARE YOU!!"

"Shut up Minseok."

"Come here!!!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chanyeol= Chantelle  
> Kris = Krieg  
> Apparently by auto correct  
> I love IPhone auto correct don't you  
> No I hate it  
> And Suho is sushi  
> Minseok is Mines okay  
> Luhan is Lugan  
> Jongin is Jong in  
> (Does auto correct hate EXO?)  
> Most messed up ending to a chapter I'm sorry  
> Not sorry


End file.
